Her Dad’s Dying Wish Is To Have Her Help Smooth Things Over With His Affair Partner And Their Kids, But She’s Not Interested In Cleaning Up The Mess He Made

ztony1971 - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
ztony1971 - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

While taking the time to reconnect and forgive any friends or family members who did you wrong before it’s too late can be an amazing experience, there’s only so much healing you can do within a short amount of time.

One woman is wondering if she made the right decision after refusing to get in touch and connect with her estranged father’s affair partner and second family before he dies.

She’s always had a complicated relationship with her father, who made many mistakes when she was a kid. When she was little, her dad had many affairs behind her mom’s back. But when she was 10-years-old, one of his affair partners became pregnant, and her mom found out, and her parents split up.

Although she didn’t want him to because of his actions, her dad tried fighting for her immediately after the split, wanting custody and for her to join him in family therapy. She refused and even ran away from home at 13 to avoid going to his house on the weekends.

“We were extremely low contact until about a year ago when I found out via one of my aunts that he is dying of liver disease,” she said.

“I got back in contact [with him] to have some closure. It’s been four months, and I feel like a weight has been lifted.”

“I’ve made my peace with everything as far as I’m concerned. I’ve been helping out with [his] medical costs to keep him as comfortable as possible. I’ve never had any contact with [his] affair partner or their kids, [but] a few days ago, I was visiting my dad at his care facility, and he brought up that he would like me to talk to the extended family about letting his affair partner and the kids have contact.”

Her dad wanted her to reach out to her close relatives and encourage them to get in contact with and try to bond with his affair partner and his kids, whom none of them have met.

He implied that he wanted her and her immediate relatives to bond with his second family and support them after he was gone.

ztony1971 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

“I said absolutely not; I will not clean up his mess for him,” she recalled.

“Just because I’ve accepted his mistakes doesn’t mean I want to see them every year at Christmas. If the rest of the family wants to reach out, that’s up to them, but I won’t pretend it’s what I want. He seemed hurt but hasn’t brought it up again.”

She knows her dad’s second family will be destroyed after he’s gone, not just emotionally but financially as well. He hardly has anything to leave them, and they could very well lose their house.

While she understands they could use some family support for that time, she doesn’t see herself ever considering them family due to their messy past. She’d rather just patch things up with her dad and only her dad as best she can until he goes.

Should she reconsider and honor her dad by connecting with his second family or leave it alone?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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