She Got Married Six Weeks Ago, But Now Her Husband Wants To Be Single

Deidre - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only
Deidre - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only

It’s coming up on nine years so far that this 28-year-old woman has been with her 31-year-old husband.

They actually got married six weeks ago, and she characterizes their relationship as brimming with joy and love. She can honestly say they have an excellent bond.

What they dream of their futures looking like aligns, and they also share common viewpoints on things like ambition and money.

Over the years, they have squabbled on occasion, but they have not encountered any insurmountable problems.

“We both love each other’s families, and they love us,” she explained. “Everyone always said they were jealous of our relationship because it seemed so effortless (and it was!).”

“We got married about 6 weeks ago, and everything leading up to that point seemed fine. We had a wonderful wedding day, and both read heartfelt vows and cried during the ceremony.”

“I had no reason to believe anything was wrong. About 2 weeks after the wedding, we started talking more about the honeymoon (which we planned to take later in the year) and other plans, and he seemed very uneasy about making future plans; [he] started saying that we shouldn’t rush and that we just got married and to take it easy.”

This confused her, as she was not being quick about anything, and they had already discussed going on their honeymoon seven months after having their wedding.

But then, her husband admitted to her that he was freaked out over being married to her at all. It dawned on him that he’s not sure he wants to be married.

Deidre – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only

He added that he feels strange that they have been together throughout their 20s, and she’s the only real relationship he has been in.

He pointed out never having “enough time to be single,” before diving into the fact that he only proposed to her after feeling pressured by society.

“He says I’m perfect, and he loves me, and he just wishes that we had met 5 years later so he would’ve had that time to be on his own,” she said.

“I said those are all valid feelings, but what are the options here? It’s okay to mourn the past, but we are already married. He said he had some doubts before the wedding but felt it was already too late as so many people had money in it. I was so excited about it, and he didn’t want to crush my dreams.”

They both acknowledge that her husband should have made his feelings known prior to the wedding, but you can’t change the past.

It’s been an entire month so far of them emotionally talking about her husband’s desire to be single so soon after they walked down the aisle.

They have attempted counseling together and separately, and she even spent several weeks staying outside of the home.

After she returned home, her husband asked if they could take a break and stay single for the next few months before reevaluating.

“I was completely shocked by this and told him that I don’t believe in that,” she added. “We either figure it out together, or we are broken up for good.”

“I asked if there is anything else we can do within the relationship to try to get him to a better mental state, and he said he didn’t think so. He really feels the only option is for us to not be together right now.”

“I am completely devastated and blindsided by this. I think he is going through some sort of “grass is greener syndrome” where he’s wondering what else is out there and mourning not being single for longer. But if he does end up going on dates and realizing that it’s not as good as he thought, I don’t want him to think that I will be waiting on the sidelines as a safety net.”

She questioned her husband about if he already has another woman in mind and if that’s the reason behind him wanting to be single.

He maintains he has not yet met someone new, but she realized he has been spending a whole lot more time with a girl he made friends with at his gym.

Her husband works out two or three days a week with this girl, but now they’re also getting coffee together after gym time or going out for food.

Her husband has begun being strange about his relationship with this girl at the gym, and he was not like that before.

“While I don’t think anything physical has happened, I definitely think there is some emotional cheating there, and I wonder if this has impacted his thoughts at all,” she continued.

“He swears she has nothing to do with the way he’s been feeling and that he’s been feeling this way for a while (which I do believe, but maybe this has intensified his feelings?). He still tells me he loves me every day and is very affectionate with me. He is also apologetic about the way he feels, saying he wishes he didn’t feel this way, and he realizes how unfair it is to me.”

“I cannot imagine giving up 9 years of history together, especially when we just had such a beautiful wedding that everyone was so excited to be a part of. But the way he has acted for the last month is SO unlike him and doesn’t seem at all like the person I have been with all these years. Is this salvageable at all?”

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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