She’s Losing Her Attraction To Her Boyfriend Because He’s Messy At Home And She Feels Like His Mom Picking Up After Him

brizmaker - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
brizmaker - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Throughout the last year, this 36-year-old woman has been dating her 33-year-old boyfriend. He’s of a higher caliber than the guys she’s dated in the past, and her boyfriend is truly a kind man.

Her boyfriend buys her presents, takes her out for romantic date nights, and doesn’t care if she eats food at his home (which apparently bothered some of her past flames).

Now, she lives in a very small apartment with one bedroom, while her boyfriend lives in a huge home, so she mostly goes to his place.

“Getting straight to the point: his lack of cleanliness makes me not want to go over to his place and is also not making me want to dance the horizontal tango with him,” she explained.

“It’s not that he can’t clean; it’s that he just won’t if it’s not dire. He won’t do his laundry if there’s still clean clothes to wear, he won’t do the dishes if there are still some clean plates and utensils to eat with. He hasn’t changed the bath mat once since we bought two new ones a couple of months ago.”

She last cleaned his bathroom sink several months ago, and it’s remained untouched since then. When she was at her boyfriend’s house last, she told him she was extremely disappointed that he didn’t change the sheets on his bed.

Her boyfriend’s sheets were changed a month ago, in case you were wondering. Anyway, her boyfriend replied that if she wanted fresh sheets on the bed, she should change them out herself.

She did end up changing the sheets all by herself, but she did it with zero enthusiasm.

“NGL, it was kinda fun at first, attacking the giant overgrown bamboo hedge in this garden with hedge clippers,” she said.

brizmaker – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

“Demolishing the big pile of laundry on this floor so he had clean clothes again made me feel useful, like I was doing something good for him.”

“He and I cleaned out his basement and collected 6 big trash bags full of old clothes and junk, and now you can finally traverse the basement floor without being afraid to break a leg.”

How messy her boyfriend is in his home is making her exhausted, and she’s losing the attraction she has for her boyfriend at the same time.

She hates having to kick her boyfriend’s clothes out of her way in order to make a path to his bed. She dislikes having to get him new towels in the bathroom so they can dry their hands since it’s something he won’t do himself.

She’s sick of insisting they sleep on sheets that are clean, only to be left having to change the sheets on her own.

“I get it; he’s working 40 hours a week as an electrician, and I also am not in the mood for cleaning when I get home after work, and I only work 35 hours a week,” she added.

“I’m not a germaphobe. I’m pretty easygoing and, honestly, kind of a slob myself. I don’t mind dirty dishes standing around a couple of days until you get to them. What I DO mind is the leaning tower of dishes taking up so much space in the kitchen sink I can’t even get water for my tea.”

She’s over feeling like her boyfriend’s mom, constantly having to pick up after him. She’s also done living in a world where if she doesn’t do things around his house, they won’t get done at all.

She’s growing resentful of her boyfriend because she hates having to clean. It’s difficult enough for her to keep her tiny apartment in order, but then here she is, trying to maintain her boyfriend’s home at the same time.

They do not currently live together, and she believes they never will at the rate they are going.

“Am I off base here?” she wondered. “How much can I realistically expect/demand from someone who’s working full-time?”

“How much can I demand, knowing I am also lazy and that there’s a giant overflowing basket of clean laundry I haven’t bothered to return to their place? People always dunk on women who get with a guy and then try to change that guy.”

“Am I unreasonable, wanting to be comfortable at his place, wanting clean sheets and clean towels? I realize I met him like this, that his house used to look worse than it does now. I was just hoping that even if he didn’t want to do some things for himself, he’d at least do them for me.”

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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