These Are All The Signs You’re Trying To Force A Relationship That Simply Isn’t Right
Unfortunately, more than once, I’ve found myself in a position where I’m dating someone that I know deep down isn’t ‘the one’ or anywhere near my soulmate, and yet I force myself to try and stick out a relationship with them.
Why have I done it? Honestly, like everyone else, I probably have a fear of being alone. That fear sometimes clouds my judgment, encouraging me to try and make a relationship work, even when I know it’s not close to the one I really want.
A lot of people realize they’ve also done this or are in the process of doing it a little too late. Forcing yourself into a relationship because you’re scared of being alone or aren’t sure if you’ll find anything better can get depressing quickly.
It’s hard to face the facts and admit to yourself that the person you spent all that time dating and getting to know just isn’t the one for you. I mean, let’s face it: dating is exhausting, and a lot of us wish we could snap our fingers and have a happy relationship.
However, finding a healthy and happy relationship takes work and trial and error. The longer you try and force yourself to be in a relationship that isn’t working is a form of wasting time.
If you think you may be experiencing this, here are some signs that you’re forcing yourself into a relationship you don’t want.
You keep telling yourself they’ll change
Sometimes, we can gaslight ourselves into thinking the people we’re dating will change all the things we dislike about them someday, and from that day on, everything will be alright.
If your partner has shown you the same red flag or warning sign several times with no improvement throughout your relationship, stop telling yourself, they’ll change and find someone better suited for your needs.
YURII Seleznov – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
You’re not very interested in them
I have difficulty speaking up and getting a word in on dates sometimes. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone on dates, whether they’re first, second, or even third and fourth dates, and let a guy ramble all about things that don’t interest me without saying anything.
If you’re not interested in what your partner likes to talk about or what they’re passionate about, you should not be forcing yourself into a relationship with them. Why subject yourself to things you’re not interested in?
It’s one thing to get bored when your boyfriend talks about the occasional football game, but it’s another not to have any appreciation or interest in what he does for a living, what he aspires to do, or what he does in his spare time. It’s okay if that’s the case, but don’t try to be in a serious relationship with him.
They don’t feel like a friend
As corny as it may sound, your ideal partner should be someone who feels like a friend to you. You should be able to genuinely enjoy hanging out with them, learning about them, and experiencing life with them just as you do your friends.
If you don’t have that feeling around your partner, chances are, your romantic relationship isn’t meant to be.
You enjoy the idea of being in a relationship more than the idea of being with them
I will admit, sometimes, I go on several dates with someone just because I want to go on dates. I occasionally get giddy at the possibility of being in a relationship more than I do being with the person I’m going out with. It happens! When you’ve been single for a while and are craving some human affection and interaction, sometimes the excitement of potentially entering a relationship outshines how you actually feel about the person.
If, deep down, you are going out with someone because you’re more excited about getting to say you’re in a relationship than you are about being with them, that relationship won’t go far.
Again, I know how easy it is to get caught up in wanting a relationship so bad that you’re willing to overlook a lot of red flags to be in one. It’s tempting, and it’s a hard cycle to break. But once you break it, you’ll be free to start fresh and find someone actually worth being in a relationship with.
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