She’s Spent The Last Five Years Trying To Move On After A Guy She Had A Whirlwind Romance With Dumped Her
It was March of 2019 when this 33-year-old woman met a guy two years older than her named Jordan.
She says their chemistry was instant and intoxicating, even as they texted back and forth. She didn’t have to be with him in person to feel those intense sparks.
“He told me upfront he was finalizing a divorce (separated and living apart for over a year, confirmed as I was at his house many times), selling their house, and taking a sabbatical from work, so I told my best friend before the first date that it wouldn’t be anything because his life was in such turmoil,” she explained.
“We met, and I was instantly twitterpated. We had dinner together, and he came to see me perform, which I would NEVER usually let anyone do on a first date; we stayed out until 2 a.m. afterward, we had breakfast and lunch, and he asked to see me again that night. Our first date was 36 hours long.”
After that first date, she fell right in love with him. She’s really not the kind of girl who is reckless in love, but she couldn’t help herself.
She guards her heart and is cautious when it comes to romance, but Jordan was different. She knew he was her person.
Three weeks into seeing Jordan, she blurted out that she was in love with him, and he confirmed he loved her too.
“Our dates were marathons, staying up all night and laughing nonstop. I met his friends, he met mine,” she said.
“Three months in, he came over on a night we were supposed to watch The Bachelorette and told me I’d been his best friend the past few months, but he couldn’t be in a relationship. He was drowning, he needed to figure out what he was doing.”
alones – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I was crushed. I told my therapist I didn’t know how I’d ever trust someone again. He was the first person I’d ever felt like I was truly letting inside the fence of my heart since my first love when I was a kid.”
She wrote a lengthy text to Jordan after she got dumped, informing him that she would always be there for him.
Jordan promised that he wanted her to be in his life somehow, some way. Over the next three months, they talked on the phone regularly and even met up a handful of times.
She figured they really had a chance at getting back into a relationship when Jordan’s life became more sorted out.
“The last time I saw him, he said that he just wanted to be with me every day, and he knew he couldn’t do that while he was so unstable,” she added.
“A month after that, he texted me saying he’d essentially had a breakdown and moved back with his parents in another state to learn how to be an adult again.”
Following that intense bit of news, she spoke to Jordan over text occasionally, but then he stopped being in her life.
Around a year after Jordan went dark, he shared a photo on social media of a woman, and she unfollowed him.
Clearly, he had gotten himself into another relationship and forgotten about her. In June of 2021, she began seeing a new guy, though she couldn’t get Jordan out of her mind.
She spent every single day thinking of Jordan. She compared her new flame to him and continued to do so in the year and a half she dated the new guy.
She tried her hardest to kick Jordan out of her thoughts while with her new beau, and she was sort of successful at it, but she saw Jordan everywhere and in everything that she did.
She pondered the life she pictured with Jordan. She took note of the jokes they shared, the books they read, and the restaurants they frequented. After things ended with the new guy she was seeing, she still obsessed over Jordan.
“I’m genuinely afraid I will never get over him,” she confessed. “Two therapists have given me nothing. My friends are at a loss. I don’t follow him. I don’t look him up.”
“I’ve put myself back out there. I cut up the shirt of his I used to sleep in every night while listening to Joni Mitchell. I don’t know what to do. I just started dating someone I am starting to really like, and I’m worried I’ll sabotage it again because he’s not Jordan, and some delusional part of me still thinks we’ll end up together somehow.”
She feels silly. She feels ridiculous. She’s desperate to leave Jordan in her past where he belongs, but she cannot move on.
She’s never been so hung up on a man like this, and she’s irritated to have spent the last five years in therapy without being able to kiss him goodbye.
Her loved ones are tired of listening to her and her inability to move on. She tried everything to take steps forward, but Jordan is still on her mind, and she’s growing more hopeless by the day.
While she likes the new guy she’s dating, she doesn’t think it’s fair to keep seeing him if she can’t quit thinking about the whirlwind romance she had with Jordan.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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