Her Husband Admitted He Took Out A Major Loan For Their Wedding, But He Won’t Give Her Any Information About His Finances
Three months ago, this 33-year-old woman married her 35-year-old husband, and they have been with one another for four years.
Her husband has forever been incredibly private about his life, and he’s been that way since before she even met him.
Back when they started dating, her husband wasn’t so vague about his financial situation. He wouldn’t offer up specifics, but he would be honest with her about what he owed on his credit cards as well as the amount of money he had in the bank.
When they got engaged, her husband got a new job and quit speaking about his finances entirely, and he’s been secretive ever since.
“He knows how much I make and all the details about my finances, but when I ask him, he acts as if I’m invading his privacy or smothering him!” she exclaimed.
“I once asked him how much he makes a month so that we can plan our budgeting and responsibilities together. He refused to tell me the exact salary, told me an average of what he makes, and I didn’t insist on knowing back then.”
“Recently, though, he told me he had [taken out] a loan for us to get married. I asked him about it as a normal response to the conversation with the pure intention of helping him out. He implied that it was a big number but also refused to tell me the amount. I tried to tell him that our marriage shouldn’t have secrets, and I want our marriage to have transparency and shared responsibility.”
She thinks that’s the foundation of a stable marriage: being able to be honest with your spouse.
She questioned her husband about whether he trusts her, and he indicated his refusal to tell her the loan amount didn’t come down to that.
Media Whale Stock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He maintained he was uneasy sharing financial information with her, and she should accept that while respecting his need for privacy.
Before he shut down the conversation, he revealed that his business partner knows about the loan amount and that he’s the only other person privy to it aside from him.
“I don’t know how to feel about this. All I see is that he trusts his partner more than me. I can’t even understand how sharing your finances with your spouse would be uncomfortable,” she said.
She’s feeling like perhaps she is somehow in the wrong for wanting to know more about her husband’s financial situation, but he keeps painting her as a nasty woman who can’t respect his wishes.
He added that he could have not told her about the loan at all, so she should appreciate him sharing that tidbit with her in the first place.
Now, this has grown beyond just the loan – she’s come to realize that her husband wants to prevent giving her any details about his money.
“He says it’s something in his “nature,” and I can’t force him to change just because we got married,” she added.
“It’s in his nature that he doesn’t disclose any financial information to anyone. I keep telling him that would be the case if he was single, but now he’s married, and I have the right to have an honest and open marriage. How should I react? What should I do to make him understand the importance of transparency in a healthy marriage? He truly believes there’s an ulterior motive behind my question and not just genuine care and worrisome.”
Finally, she told her husband it’s a dealbreaker for her if he keeps going down this path, but he argued that she has some kind of agenda.
“He also said that this loan was taken before we got married, so it has nothing to do with me. If it happens when we’re married, he’ll let me know. What should I do?” she wondered.
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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