5 Signs He’s Giving You The Bare Minimum And It’s Time To Walk Away
A Relationship Should Require Effort From Both Sides
anoushkatoronto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple hugs outside
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Romantic relationships are supposed to be a two-way street, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out that way.
But Often, We Only Get The Bare Minimum From Our Partner
mavoimages – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple laughs on the beach at sunset
Too often, we find ourselves falling into the same old familiar trap, putting in so much effort while only receiving the bare minimum in return. The worst part, though, is how hard it can be to recognize this toxic pattern.
If You’re Blinded By Love, You Can Miss Red Flags
Geber86 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple strolls through the countryside
When we are blinded by love or simply crave companionship so deeply, we sometimes miss or even blatantly ignore the red flags that are right in front of our faces.
Here Are 5 Signs He’s Giving You The Bare Minimum
interstid – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple laughs in a sunny cafe
So, in case you need a little reminder or wake-up call, these are the top signs a guy is giving you the bare minimum (and you should walk away).
You Love The Idea Of Him, Not Who He Really Is
IVASHstudio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above is a couple in front of the Brooklyn Bridge
The ability to give people grace and value their better qualities over their flaws is a commendable trait. But holding onto the hope that a guy may change and falling in love with an idealistic future version of him is a recipe for heartbreak.
For instance, if he is constantly late, a bad communicator, or never prioritizes you and hasn’t tried to improve his ways already, why should you believe that, one day, he’ll suddenly start acting completely differently?
This isn’t to say that people can’t change. I firmly believe they can. Nonetheless, it takes personal motivation and diligent effort to improve, not just your faith. When a guy shows you who he is, believe him. Don’t overlook minimal effort in the present based on a future dream.
Only You Initiate Quality Time
Budding romances may be filled with spontaneous adventures and late nights out. Yet, the true mark of a healthy and compatible relationship lies in the ability to prioritize and learn more about each other on a personal level.
Does the guy you’re seeing only ever invite you to impromptu hangouts devoid of planning or romance? Are you the one who has to suggest date nights or one-on-one time without anyone else or other distractions involved? Finally, are the get-togethers always on his terms?
If so, he may view you as a convenient option rather than an important one. And if you’re searching for a solid partnership, that’s not a good sign. You deserve to be with someone who actively works to carve out a space for you in his life. You shouldn’t have to pull teeth and jump through hoops to see someone you care about if they truly feel the same way.
He Doesn’t Show You Any Emotional Support
Sanja_85 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple laughs and hugs in the city
Again, being with a partner can be fun and exhilarating, but that’s the easy part (and only represents half the battle). It’s practically effortless to be with someone through the good times. What’s rarer is for someone to show up during difficult times. So, if you’ve found a guy who seems like a “fair-weather friend,” cut him loose.
The strongest foundation of a relationship is solid emotional support. When the going gets tough, you deserve to be with a man who has your back instead of running away.
If you feel like he doesn’t understand your feelings and doesn’t even attempt to try, it’s an indicator that he’s putting in little effort and probably is not ready for a committed relationship.
He Talks The Talk But Doesn’t Walk The Walk
eduard – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple holds hands while walking down the sidewalk
It’s horrible being led on. We’ve all been there. Maybe it was a flighty family member or an ex who made you promise after promise but never followed through.
They may have sworn to change their behavior, work on their communication, or even build a life with you. Then, when push came to shove, nothing ever came to fruition.
This endless cycle will only leave you disappointed as you encounter the same arguments, frustrations, and results over and over again. Don’t let yourself get sucked into the trap.
Discussions Of The Future Terrify Him
Joshua Resnick – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple snaps a photo together in front of a Ferris wheel
Finally, if you cannot even talk about the future with a guy, it’s a sign that he’s not actually in it for the long haul (and is only putting in minimal effort right now).
This red flag is more noticeable in some men than others. Certain guys may visibly get angry or immediately shut down any conversations about topics ranging from moving in together to tying the knot. Other guys may be more subtle, dancing around your questions or pushing them off until a later date.
Either way, if you are after a future together, and he isn’t willing to even have an honest conversation with you, the writing is on the wall. For whatever reason, he’s not able to commit, and you shouldn’t be expected to wait around for when he might be “one day.”
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