She Told Her Mom That She’s The Reason She’s Never Having Kids
Back when this 22-year-old girl was in her teens, her mom was emotionally and mentally abusive towards her.
They argued several times a day, and her mom really put the pressure on for her to excel in school and tennis.
If her grades were less than amazing, her mom yelled at her. Her mom thrived on berating her for failing to try enough, even though she was diagnosed with ADD, was put on medication, and never managed to get less than As after that.
“She would also weigh me on a weekly basis and scold me when I gained weight, and she sent me to fat camp multiple times as a kid,” she explained.
“She even made me be a camp counselor to “lose some weight before college” and refused to pick me up when everyone quit, and I was left to run the camp by myself; I was only 19. Nothing I did was ever good enough.”
During her freshman year of high school, her tennis coach was tragically shot and killed. She was so close to him, and his death nearly destroyed her.
Her mom wasn’t sympathetic and accused her of doing drugs when she was just crushed to have lost someone so important to her.
Adding to her sadness and grief over such a profound loss, it ruined her to know that her mom had no trust in her.
She was in group therapy for a short amount of time, but her mom yanked her right out of it after realizing she had to leave class to participate in therapy.
pikselstock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her mom then snapped at her that it was her fault her coach was dead since she failed to adequately appreciate him.
Thinking he knew how to help, her dad intervened and asked that she write a letter to her mom to fill her in on her feelings (by the way, he was always at work when she and her mom got into their worst fights).
So, she did that. She wrote down that she would never have kids of her own one day since she would hate to have them be around her mom.
Ever since she wrote that letter, it did serve as a wake-up call to her mom, who has gone on to make an enormous effort to fix their terrible relationship.
Her mom also put work in on fixing herself, and lately, things between them have been the best they’ve ever been.
Her mom can’t help it and still makes a couple of comments, and occasionally, they argue, but to her, it’s a severe difference from how bad her childhood was.
Recently, her parents have been on her case about getting married and having children since their biggest desire right now is to have grandkids, and she’s the oldest.
She hasn’t dated a guy in more than three years, and she’s not dating anyone right now. She admitted to her mom that she doesn’t think she wants kids, and her mom said she was “selfish.”
Her mom and dad feel “gutted” that she wants to “deprive them of being grandparents.” Her mom feels it’s unfair that she’s continuing to punish her for how she acted in the past.
“She also asked me how I expect to find a husband if I don’t want to have children,” she continued.
“Although I initially said those things to hurt my mom, I really don’t know if I want to have kids. I know that she has made a real effort and change to fix our relationship, but I still hold some resentment towards her from the past.”
“She cries thinking about the fact that she might not be a grandmother, and I can’t help but feel bad that I would be depriving her of that and unfairly punishing my dad when she has made a real effort to change.”
She’s left wondering if it was wrong of her to tell her mom that she’s the reason she never wants to have kids, especially since it’s kind of still true.
What do you think?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships
Read This Next
