She’s Ready To Divorce Her Husband Since He’s Spent More Than A Year In A Psychiatric Hospital
A year ago, this 31-year-old woman’s 33-year-old husband started ruining their 6-year-old daughter’s artwork out of the blue.
The thing is, their daughter only drew stick figures and poodles back then, so she couldn’t understand why her husband was so triggered by her art.
Her husband was doing this in secret and lying about it all. She finally figured out what her husband was doing, and when she tried to talk to him about it, he went and broke all of their daughter’s art supplies after the conversation was over.
She scooped up their daughter and brought her to her mom’s house, as she was worried about how her husband was acting.
When she arrived back home, she admitted to her husband that she was concerned with his erratic behavior, and she begged him to seek out professional help.
Her husband said he would get help, and then he said he wasn’t positive why their daughter’s artwork was so upsetting to him. She couldn’t quite determine if her husband was being honest or not about that, though.
In the weeks that followed, her husband went to therapy, and she figured it was all resolved and behind them.
One evening, she went out with her friends, and when she returned, her husband stated he no longer felt comfortable being near their daughter.
This caught her off guard, as she assumed he was improving in therapy, and she thought the artwork thing wasn’t the biggest deal.
jakkapan – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only – pictured above is a blurred, abstract photo of a hospital interior
Her husband packed his bags, checked on their sleeping daughter, and walked out of their home. She felt devastated, and she pleaded with him to stay, but he didn’t.
“He drove a couple hours away to a hospital closer to where his family lived and admitted himself,” she explained.
“I felt just so numb and confused because, obviously, I would support him no matter what, but this felt like such a rapid escalation that I just didn’t know how to handle. And that’s basically where we are now. It’s basically been a little over a year, and he’s still there.”
“There was one [heck] of an adjustment period, but I promised him that I was there for him no matter what. That I still love him; that I’m proud of him for working on himself. And I mean all that, I really do. But things just aren’t getting better.”
When her husband admitted himself to the psychiatric hospital, they spoke frequently. But as he remained at the hospital longer and longer, they stopped talking regularly, and now he calls her once every week if that.
Their daughter is doing just fine without her dad in her life, but it appears her daughter believes this is a permanent situation. She feels the same way, like her husband won’t just reenter their lives.
And to be honest, she wants to divorce him currently since he’s spent so long in the hospital, and she has no clue when he’s coming home.
“I don’t even know truthfully why he’s still there,” she said. “Not that I knew why he went in the first place.”
“I ask him about it, but he gets weird and dodgy, and I just can’t bring myself to fight it. He’s got a right to privacy, but at the same time, I’m his wife! I wish I wasn’t quite as much a pacifist.”
Not that long ago, her husband’s brother stopped by to see her, and he said he had gone to visit her husband.
She was shocked, as her husband has not allowed her or their daughter to see him in the hospital. While her brother-in-law said her husband is doing well, she isn’t sure if she can believe this.
Her husband has failed to communicate with her regarding how long he wants to keep staying at the hospital, and she’s at her wit’s end.
“I promised that I’d love and support him, but I just feel so alone,” she continued. “I feel like he doesn’t really talk to me anymore, let alone love me.”
“And honestly, my daughter seems just as happy as she was before, if not happier. She gets upset about her daddy sometimes, but most of the time, it’s almost like she’s forgotten about him.”
She did her best to keep her daughter connected in some way to her husband, but it’s growing to be an impossible task for her.
Her husband hardly reaches out to talk to her, so how can she fight for them to remain this lovely family when he’s no longer in the picture?
She’s not interested in living her life in this way and staying in a marriage with a man who has completely checked out.
“I feel like scum even thinking about it, but I just can’t imagine ever returning to normal after this,” she added.
“I basically haven’t known what’s going on with my husband for over a year now, and I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. And I can’t help but feel like maybe if I just… end things, that I might be able to start feeling okay again.”
“Am I being stupid? Should I keep trying to push through this with my husband, or am I maybe in the right for at least exploring the option of divorce?”
You can read the original post below.
I (31F) am considering a divorce with my husband (33M) while he's in a psychiatric hospital, but don't know if it's the right thing to do
byu/throwawaytitle1 inAdvice
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