The Guy That She’s Been Seeing Got Upset That She Went On A Date With Another Guy
Some people believe that if you’re going on more than a few dates with them, that’s heading into exclusive territory, and you shouldn’t entertain anyone else.
This 26-year-old woman recently landed in hot water with the 30-year-old guy she’s been seeing after they failed to be on the same page regarding dating other people.
Two weeks back, she met him through a dating app, and their first date happened on that Thursday.
They grabbed drinks together, and that Sunday, they went for a walk and out for coffee. Last Saturday was their third date – they went out for dinner, followed by a sleepover at his house.
“The night after our very first date, he told me “he did a thing,” she explained. “When I asked what it was, he sent a screenshot of deleting his dating apps.”
“I asked why he did that, and he responded, “I’m over it.” I didn’t think much into this besides that he was frustrated with dating apps and was hopeful towards our next date.”
But she did let him know that she went out to grab drinks with someone last week, and he responded, wanting to know if she was going out on dates with other guys.
She told him she was simply hanging out with a friend. Then, after they had dinner on Saturday evening, he asked once more if she was dating anyone else, and she said she had turned a few guys down not too long ago.
Looking back, he easily was into her right from the start. She was on vacation leading up to their first date, and when she shared photos with him, he joked that she shouldn’t post them all because she was so pretty that guys would be all over her.
Yakobchuk Olena – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above is a man and woman on a date at a restaurant
Now, she thinks it was bizarre, but she didn’t at the time – it certainly seemed flattering. Another comment he made that she doesn’t like in hindsight is that he expressed concern over how much she likes to travel and stated it would make him worry.
“Fast forward to today, he asked where I went last night, and I told him I went out with a guy who had been asking me out for a while, but that I was most excited about seeing him (the guy I had been on three dates with) again,” she said.
“We didn’t have any plans yet for a fourth date, and so I had been feeling uncertain about where we stood after I slept over.”
“He responded back, saying, “Yeah, I knew something was up, TBH. Well, it was nice spending the time I did with you. You were the only one I was talking to, and [I] respected you enough to not entertain anyone else. I’m not going to deal with trying to keep your attention on me when I had all mine on you.”
She suggested they talk in person, as things can certainly get lost in communication via text, but he didn’t want to do that.
She knows they only went on three dates, but she’s feeling puzzled and hurt that this guy thinks she was that disrespectful by going on one date with another man.
She liked him a ton, and she thought it would be a good idea to slow her roll instead of jumping into a relationship with him, as that has been to her detriment in the past.
“I wish he would have more explicitly spoken to me about wanting to become exclusive,” she continued.
“I felt a bit blindsided by this as we have never discussed being in a relationship or as a couple. I asked him if he would give me a few minutes on the phone, and he said, “Not tonight. I’m not making conversation when I’m upset like this.”
“He also said, “I don’t need an apology or a dinner. We were talking pretty heavy, and after going out a few times, I told you how I felt and deleting my app. I didn’t expect the same, but at least the respect of not entertaining other guys. I don’t let just anyone spend the night so that’s where I was coming from.”
Although you could perceive this as a bunch of red flags, she says he showed her a lot of qualities that screamed green.
She understands why she hurt his feelings, but after thinking about it more, she believes he was acting too “possessive,” and so she thinks it’s time to keep on dating other guys.
What advice do you have for her?
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