Her Husband Can’t Even Care For Their Kitten, So She’s Worried He Won’t Be A Good Dad
Eight years ago, this 30-year-old woman got married to her 34-year-old husband, and the last three years they’ve spent together have been the toughest by far.
Her husband is wildly impulsive, frequently taking trips out of the state or even the country without giving her notice, only to be gone for weeks on end.
He enjoys attending festivals and concerts or skiing with his friends. He doesn’t often invite her, and that’s because her job needs her to remain in their zip code pretty much at all times.
“I’ve felt neglected and abandoned,” she explained. “Last year, he booked a trip over my birthday. Not a big deal to me, except that he didn’t realize until days after. My point here is that he can be careless when it comes to the needs and feelings of others.”
She has tried to talk to her selfishly whimsical husband, and it seems like she finally got through to him. They both have resolved to work on understanding the other person’s needs, and they know they made the right choice in getting married. So, having to put in this work is worth it for both of them.
They are planning on having kids sometime soon, and they are financially in a position to pursue a family of their own.
However, there’s one thing holding her back, and it’s the fact that her husband never takes the initiative in any situation. She’s the one who does all of their household chores while her husband stands by.
“His helplessness genuinely astounds me sometimes. It goes from minor silly stuff like he opens the dishwasher, looks inside, and then calls me in from across the house to ask me if the dishes are dirty or clean,” she added.
When her husband does ask if he can provide her with assistance, he takes so long to accomplish one simple job that she’s already run circles around him and done five different things.
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The inequality surrounding household tasks used to not irritate her, but then, five months ago, they adopted a kitten.
She loves her kitten with all of her heart, and she’s her little baby. She’s invested in making sure her kitten has the best life and stays healthy. Two weeks ago, her kitten got spayed, and she has required additional care related to that.
“We have a whiteboard in our kitchen, and every day I write out her meals, medication, etc., on the board. I have a Google doc where I track her symptoms, medicine doses, [and] food,” she said.
“I have shared all of this information with my husband and encouraged him to be involved with her care. This morning, he “helped” by administering her medicine in the morning so I could sleep in after a late night working. The dosage was incorrect.”
“I had the correct dosage noted on the whiteboard, on post-its, in the Google doc, and verbally given the night before. He undermines my attempts to train her by giving her treats, getting her excited at bedtime, opting out of aspects of her care that he considers unpleasant (like scooping her litter). You guys, I KNOW that a cat is not a child. But how…does his carelessness give me any confidence in his ability to be a parent??”
To be frank, it doesn’t. She has literally zero confidence in her husband’s potential to be a functioning father.
How her husband is with her kitten and his inability to be organized and helpful overall is making her doubt that he will make a good parent one day.
And he is now all over her about trying for a baby, so she’s wondering how she can address this with her husband and make him see her perspective.
“I don’t want to feel like a single mother while married. UGH. How do I talk to him about this??” she wondered.
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