She Makes $700,000 A Year And Resents Her Stay-At-Home Husband For Treating Her Like An ATM
Fifteen years ago, this 42-year-old woman tied the knot with her 43-year-old husband. They live in an extremely expensive area, and they do not have children.
Several years back, she chose to invest more into her career, and ever since then, she’s made a massive jump in her salary.
She went from making $150,000 a year to $700,000 a year. As for her husband, he’s always been at $150,000 with his salary, and he runs his own company.
When she accepted her most recent role, her husband was in the middle of launching something new, but then his motivation died out. His business initiative went from being how he makes a living to being downgraded into more like a hobby.
“It hasn’t brought in any money for about two years, has created enormous amounts of debt without corresponding income, and he has also tapered his salary (first to zero altogether and then, about six months ago, after many fights, brought it back to ~50% of where he once was),” she explained.
“He’s also straight up lied to some of our investors (family members) about why he hasn’t been able to pay them back yet (they are enabling the behavior, though, so that’s complicated too).”
“He has sort of floated being a ‘stay-at-home husband’ now that I have this high-paying job, but to be honest, I have really come to resent how he was downshifted right at the moment that I upshifted without there ever being a discussion of him maintaining his prior levels of contribution.”
She can’t help but feel like her husband is taking advantage of her while treating her like an ATM. If she does try to discuss her feelings with her husband, he says he’s allowed to continue on his journey while he finds his best self.
The thing is, her husband wouldn’t be able to be on his self-actualization mission without her footing all the bills.
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He pretends like it’s not all about the money while telling her to get a different job if she wants to, but then he’s using her money to purchase designer clothing and spends all day shopping.
She’s fed up and not sure where to go from here.
“I guess my question is: has anyone else been kind of frustrated that their spouse started treating them like a piggy bank after they started making real money?” she wondered.
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