5 Topics To Discuss Before Getting Married
Couples Can Avoid Certain Issues If They Talk About Them Before Tying The Knot
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. It always pains me to see couples encountering issues that could have been resolved had they discussed those things prior to getting married.
Communicating your expectations about married life before you say “I do” is vital to avoid being part of that dreaded divorce rate. So today, I’m listing five things to discuss with your bride/groom-to-be before you tie the knot!
1. Money
If one/both of you have any outstanding debt (student loans, credit cards, personal loans, etc.), you must disclose that information before you marry. Nobody wants to be blindsided by finding out their betrothed has massive debt that they kept a secret.
Also, discuss plans after the marriage around finances, such as career plans, division of bills/finances, joint banking, joint accounts, emergency funds, and anything about money. Finances are one of the most common reasons married couples end up in therapy or couples counseling.
2. Children
If neither of you has kids, you need to know where each of you stands on the idea of having children before you walk down the aisle.
If one of you does have kids talk about where each of you stands on having more in the future. If you have opposing views on children, it’s best to acknowledge them instead of hoping your partner will change their mind in the future.
3. Work/Home Balance
Make sure you talk about who is expected to work and contribute financially to the household. For example, is one of you expected to stay home and be a trophy spouse? Are you both going to work?
If one or both of you work, how are you dividing up the chores and other household duties? Do not wait to get married to find out your husband expects you to work full time and do all the housework. There are couples out there who didn’t talk about who would do the dishes, and now that’s all they fight about.
4. Religion
If one or both of you have a faith they adhere to, is it the same or different from your partner’s? How important will practicing your faith be in the marriage?
Will one of you expect the other to convert if you have different beliefs? Talk about these things, especially since many marriages are religious affairs.
5. Physical Details
Right now, you cannot imagine not wanting to be all over each other constantly, but will that be the case in 10 years? Passion fades in most relationships, so you want to discuss the expectations surrounding all of the physical details early on – before they become a problem. How many times a week do each of you want to be close? What are some ideas to keep the spark ignited years down the road?
These are all things best discussed sooner rather than later. Many relationships suffer when the physical connection dies down, especially if one of you uses physical touch as a love language.
What Do You Think Is Another Important Topic To Discuss?
Of course, there are plenty of other discussions to have before getting married, but these are the big ones that are most likely to lead to needing a therapist to avoid divorce.
The more you get on the same page about before you walk down the aisle, the stronger your relationship will be in the long run! What do you think is another important topic to discuss before walking down the aisle?
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