She Resents Her Husband For Lying In Bed All Day And Leaving Food In The Sheets
What would you do if your significant other literally laid around in bed all day, every day? This 26-year-old woman is married to a 31-year-old man who does just that, and she’s fed up at this rate.
Now, she has a job in healthcare, so she works super long hours and doesn’t get to sit down at work. She also has to commute over an hour each day, so she’s pretty exhausted during the work week.
As for her husband, whom she’s been with for four years, he is a software engineer, and his job is entirely remote, so he doesn’t have to leave their house.
“When I leave for work at 5:30 AM, he’s in bed. When I come home at 5:30 PM, he’s in bed. And when I finally crawl into bed at 9:30 PM, exhausted, there are crumbs in the sheets,” she explained.
“I’ve repeatedly asked him to stop eating in bed because it’s gross, uncomfortable, and not great for his mental health.”
“He agrees, says he’ll stop—but he never does. The sheets have stains, and there are wrappers under the bed. He denies eating in bed, but the evidence is right there.”
Her husband has a desk he can work from, but he chooses to lie in bed during his office hours, which are 9:30 to 5.
Last night was the final straw for her. At 8 p.m., she asked her husband to please get up from the bed, as they had to switch out the sheets after he got chips and salsa all over them.
Her husband complained that he was too exhausted and was going to merely pass out for the night. She had to plead with him to get up so she could attend to the mess he made.
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She used to get just irritated about her husband lying in bed all day and eating in there, too, but it’s blown up into a much larger issue.
“I can’t ignore the growing resentment I feel—not just about the crumbs, but about our entire dynamic. I work way harder, make way less, and come home to see him having spent the entire day in the same spot,” she added.
“He has an hour-long lunch break every day and doesn’t use that time to do any chores. I know it’s not fair to compare jobs, but it’s hard not to feel frustrated when my life feels so much more exhausting.”
“I try to be understanding—he has ADHD, and I know hyper-focus can be a barrier. But I’m struggling. I feel unheard, and the resentment is building. How do I get him to take this seriously?”
“How do I bring this up in a way that actually leads to change? Is it unfair for me to expect him to pick up [the] slack while working from home because that’s what I would do in his position?”
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