She Blames Her Mom For The Death Of Her Marriage, But Everyone Treated Her Like The Crazy One
When you think about the reasons a marriage might fall apart, you might picture infidelity, money problems, or even growing apart over time.
But for one 34-year-old woman, it wasn’t just the 7 years of dysfunction that ended her marriage—it was the strange, boundary-blurring friendship between her mother and her husband.
It started innocently enough: a few deep conversations, late-night drinks, shared gym sessions. But slowly, things got…weird.
Her mum began wearing perfume and heels just to see him. They went out for Botox together. He started crashing at her place. And somehow, when it all came crashing down, she was the one painted as the jealous, overreacting daughter.
Let’s rewind to when her husband proposed to her, since that’s really when her mom started to get out of control.
Suddenly, her husband and her mom stayed up later than everyone else to have drinks. It felt bizarre to her, but she was hoping they were developing a connection. After all, doesn’t everyone want their significant other to get along with their family?
She was also concerned about coming across as insecure or insane, so she said nothing. Then came her wedding: her mom stole the spotlight.
Sure, her mom paid for pretty much the entire wedding, but her mom insisted on swiping the attention away from her, so she felt more like it was her mom’s special day, not hers.
When the honeymoon rolled around, her mom guilt-tripped her for going and leaving her home alone! Her mom and dad had purchased a home four minutes down the street from her own, and her mom felt abandoned by her leaving to spend time with her husband.
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Upon coming home from her honeymoon, she couldn’t wait to just be alone in her house, since she had never before lived on her own.
However, her mom’s new house ended up undergoing renovations, so her mom moved in, despite having plenty of other places she could have stayed. Her mom said she was being problematic when she tried to tell her mom to find somewhere else to hang out while her house was being finished.
Skipping to the pandemic, she and her husband put a home gym in their garage, and that only fueled her mom and husband’s friendship.
“Every single day, my mum came over to train with him. Then they’d drink. Then they’d walk back to her house together,” she explained.
“While my dad slept upstairs, they stayed up talking and drinking until 7–8 a.m. I started noticing a shift; her behavior changed. She’d wear high-heeled boots around the house. She’d run upstairs to fix her makeup and spray perfume when he visited.”
“After lockdown, they joined a gym together (just the two of them) four days a week, followed by breakfast. They got Botox together. He started taking days off work to drink with her. He’d sleep over at her place. I’d beg her to send him home. She refused. ‘My house is open to everyone,’ she’d say.”
She came across messages her mom and husband had deleted, calling her a crazy, jealous person. She discovered that her mom and husband were going to clubs with one another.
Not a single soul noticed how unsettling the relationship between her mom and her husband. Her husband had clearly checked out of their marriage, and she cried nonstop in an effort to keep their marriage going.
Her mom referred to her husband as her own best friend amid all of her struggles, which made it all hurt even worse.
“Eventually, I gave up. The marriage died. But I can’t help feeling that their weird, emotionally enmeshed relationship accelerated the end. I lost my partner and my mother. I feel betrayed by both,” she added.
Now, after the dust has settled and the divorce papers are signed, she’s left asking the question that’s haunted her from the beginning: is she right to feel stabbed in the back by both of them, and for blaming her mom for the death of her marriage? Or was she just being paranoid all along?
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