She Wants To Dump Her Boyfriend Even Though He’s Going To Propose On Their Dream Vacation
For the last eleven years, this 30-year-old woman has been with her boyfriend, who is the same age as her. They’ve experienced a lot with one another, and while she’s grateful for the time she’s spent with her boyfriend, she’s made the decision to dump him.
She has really thought this choice through, and she has no ill will for her boyfriend; she simply believes that they are polar opposites with unresolvable problems.
She and her boyfriend constantly argue about the exact same topics, and she’s tired of there being no resolution in sight.
In a month, she and her boyfriend have a dream vacation planned on the other side of the world, and it’s centered around a friend’s wedding.
Well, she just figured out that her boyfriend is going to propose to her on the trip.
“The thing is that marriage is something he doesn’t care about, but I do. And he has been pissed at people for pushing him for it, because I want it, so therefore we need to get married,” she explained.
“And I have told him to disregard it and forget the topic. That it is something between us, too, and that I will shut down any nagging about it if it comes up (and I have been doing that). That it’s ok if we don’t do it ever. TBH, I have been waiting so long that I kind of gave up on the idea.”
“He has been planning this proposal for 2 years. Wanted to make it his way. Got a custom ring. We have been having more issues than normal this past autumn, and in January, we have talked about possibly breaking up.”
That chat was not ugly, and although she was interested in walking away from the relationship, her boyfriend convinced her to give things one more chance.
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Ever since, she’s been so unhappy. So, after much consideration and a long conversation with her therapist, she knows it’s best that she and her boyfriend go their separate ways. They should find partners who make them feel like a relationship isn’t only tough stuff.
So, here she is, worrying about what to do about the vacation. She would feel awful if her boyfriend missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime, but she also would hate to manipulate him.
She is now weighing her options and trying to work out what to do. One option is that she could tell her boyfriend she wants to break up when they come home from the vacation, and reassure him that she still is happy to be friends.
Another option is to admit she knows about his intention to propose and let her boyfriend know she’s not ready to take that next step. They could go on the trip, avoid getting engaged, and split up after that.
She could ask her mutual friend to put pressure on her boyfriend to hold off on proposing and still break up after the trip.
A fourth option is to go on the trip, turn down her boyfriend’s proposal, and shatter his heart. This is too mean for her to seriously consider.
And finally, she could dump her boyfriend now, and see if he’s willing to go on the vacation alone or with her as merely a friend.
What do you think she should do?
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