7 Signs Your Partner Is Patronizing You
Does Your Partner Frequently Make You Feel Dismissed?
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your partner feeling small or dismissed instead of supported and understood?
This can seem especially strange if they said something that sounded kind on the surface, but still makes you question your own judgment or feel as if you were being talked at instead of talked with. Unfortunately, that’s a common calling card of patronizing behavior.
It’s not always obvious as a sarcastic remark or an eye roll. Instead, it may manifest as your significant other frequently correcting you, making important decisions alone, or lecturing you, rather than engaging in an equal conversation.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Patronizing You
Plus, being patronized is often more confusing than blatant condescension since it’s usually wrapped in a layer of so-called “concern” or “helpfulness.” Yet, over time, it can damage your self-esteem and create an unhealthy power imbalance in your relationship.
So, if something feels off in the way your partner communicates or treats you, and it makes you feel inferior or incapable, don’t ignore it. Here are seven red flags that they might be patronizing you.
1. Your Partner Frequently Interrupts You In Conversations
We all get excited and blurt things out sometimes, which is fine, but when it turns into a pattern of your partner consistently cutting you off to add their opinion or “correct” whatever you’re saying, that’s a problem.
This behavior is a clear sign of disrespect for your voice and sends the message that their thoughts are more important than yours. Over time, it may also cause you to speak up less around your partner or choose your words more carefully to avoid getting shut down, and that’s simply not healthy.
2. They Don’t Seem To Value Your Opinions Or Perspective
Every single person brings their own experiences, knowledge, and emotions into a relationship, all of which deserve to be heard. So, if your partner consistently brushes off your thoughts, second-guesses your opinions, or overlooks your suggestions, it’s not fair.
This is especially frustrating when you know that you’re more well-versed on a topic than they are, yet they still don’t pay any mind to your input. Remember that a loving partner wouldn’t make it seem like how you feel or what you have to say is irrelevant.
3. They Act Like They Always Know More Or Better Than You
Absolutely no one is an expert on everything, but a patronizing partner might try to make you feel like your way of doing things is always wrong. Then, they may even jump in and offer “better” solutions.
Sure, advice can be helpful sometimes, but it comes off as rude and patronizing when it’s not asked for. Constant, unsolicited advice will just leave you feeling like your partner is the teacher and you’re the student, which isn’t healthy or sustainable.
4. They Talk Down To You
It’s one thing for your partner to explain something they’re knowledgeable or passionate about, but it’s another for them to make you feel dumb for not already knowing it.
Have they ever spoken to you with an overly simplified or sarcastic tone? These are both surefire ways to make you feel belittled.
Even if their words sound neutral, their delivery might carry an air of superiority. Or perhaps they smirk when you ask a question or act surprised that you don’t know something they deem “basic.” No matter how your partner talks down to you, this habit will chip away at your confidence over time and damage the bond in your relationship.
5. They Take Control, Even When You Don’t Want Help
Similar to giving advice, being helpful versus controlling are two very different things. So, if your partner often steps in to “fix” things or take over tasks without you asking, especially if they act like you’re incapable of doing it yourself, that’s a form of patronizing behavior.
In those moments, it’s not about teamwork for your partner. Instead, they’ve essentially assumed you’re incompetent. Whether it’s making social plans or managing finances, the underlying message is the same: “I don’t trust you to do this right.” That’s just insulting coming from someone who’s supposed to be your significant other.
6. They Don’t Consult You Before Making Decisions
When a relationship is mutually respectful, both people are supposed to feel included in decisions, big and small. However, your partner might frequently make choices that affect you without even bothering to loop you in. This indicates that they view themselves as the person in charge.
Maybe they plan trips, make big purchases, or agree to social outings without asking how you feel about it. Not only is this inconsiderate, but it signals they don’t see you as an equal.
Of course, two partners will never agree on absolutely everything. Nonetheless, not even asking you is a subtle way of saying, “My opinion matters more than yours.”
7. You Have A Gut Feeling Something Is Off
Finally, it can be hard to pinpoint specific examples of patronizing behavior, particularly if they’ve become ingrained as seemingly normal habits in your relationship or are extremely subtle.
Even when patronization is so baked into your dynamic with your partner, though, your gut still knows, and you should trust yourself.
If you notice that you’re constantly second-guessing yourself or feeling small, silly, or incapable following interactions with your partner, realize that your intuition is waving a red flag.
More About:Advice