Her Boyfriend Takes Advantage Of Her Kindness, And She’s Upset That He’s Become So Entitled
This 26-year-old woman thinks of herself as a “naturally giving” individual, but her kindhearted nature has seemingly steered her wrong when it comes to romantic relationships. In fact, she feels like she “ruins people” by being so kind and making them dependent on her.
For some context, she admitted that she likes to do whatever she can to make her partners happy. If they’ve had a long day at work, for instance, she’ll gladly take their shoes off and rub their feet.
Or, if their favorite band is in town, she will immediately buy them tickets. And whenever they come over, she makes sure to have food cooked and their favorite movie queued up.
She claimed that she can’t help it due to her background. She grew up poor, never having a room or even a bed of her own, and she knows how it feels not to be able to afford food.
“So when I love someone, I do everything I can to make their lives easier,” she said.
This is exactly what happened with her current boyfriend, who’s 28 years old. He also had a rough childhood, having been raised by a neglectful single mother who died young. So, it took him a while to even open up to her about his past since her boyfriend was taught to stay quiet from a young age.
“However, in the last half a year, he finally became comfortable enough to receive my care, [and] it went from being hesitant to expecting certain things all the time,” she revealed.
Her only goal was to give her boyfriend a “reliable shoulder” to lean on. But now, he’s beginning to expect her selflessness constantly, and without any reciprocation.
Suddenly, she is having to drop her boyfriend off and pick him up everywhere since he can’t afford a car anymore. He also sometimes asks her to stop at drive-thrus and pretends to be on his phone, just so she will pay for his food.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Plus, last week, Uber supposedly declined her boyfriend’s credit card, so she had to pick him up. And after she had already done him that favor, he still had the nerve to ask that they stop at Walmart because he was “in the mood for snacks.”
“With what money, mine? Writing it down, I’m embarrassed and, to an extent, guilty that maybe I’m overreacting,” she explained.
“But it’s just the fact that things that were meant as a gesture or favor suddenly became expected and none of them are reciprocated… sometimes not even thanked for.”
The thing she’s having the most trouble grappling with, though, is how she doesn’t think her boyfriend is entirely to blame. Why? Well, she’s had other past partners whose personalities completely changed once she started showing care for them.
In fact, this got so bad with her last boyfriend that he’d actually become annoyed whenever she purchased things with her own money since he wasn’t able to afford his own car bill!
“I don’t get it. How is it that I end up being my partner’s mother when I don’t even want kids? How can I stop this?” she asked.
“I’m so heartbroken. I feel like I ruin people and condition them into becoming their most dependent version, and I hate myself for it.”
Does it seem like she’s caught in a cycle of people pleasing that’s turning toxic? What advice would you give her for future relationships?
You can read the original post below.
More About:Relationships