She Punished Her Daughter By Taking Away Her Birthday Party After She Skipped Class
This mom has always been into soft parenting, and she’s the kind of parent who’s quick to provide multiple chances to get things right.
Something happened this year, though, that made her change her mind about all that. Her 13-year-old daughter is a drama queen, and she would also characterize her as strong-willed.
While she appreciates those qualities in her daughter, not too long ago, it all turned negative. Her daughter began lying, talking back to her, and refusing to be accountable for her actions.
She does get that 13-year-olds are full of attitude, but she could tell her daughter was not simply being angsty like people expect her age group to be. There was more going on.
One month ago, she discovered that her daughter had skipped school four times in one week. Her daughter lied to her and said that wasn’t true, but the school called her and said otherwise.
She called her daughter out on her lie, and instead of owning up to the truth, she kept on lying right to her face. Her daughter came up with excuses like the school was incorrect and that she failed to listen to her, as her mom.
Her daughter threw it in her face that she feels she cannot ‘breathe at home’ and blamed her for that.
“I felt like I’d been slapped. I cried in the laundry room for an hour that night, not because I was mad, but because I felt like I was losing her,” she explained.
“But I also knew I needed to stop parenting out of fear, fear of her pulling away, fear of being the ‘mean mom,’ fear of making her hate me.”
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“So I sat her down that weekend. I told her she wasn’t getting a party this year. No cake, no balloons, no dinner out with friends. I would still give her a card and tell her I love her, but I wasn’t celebrating the way I normally would. I told her birthdays are not just about getting older, they’re about reflecting on how we’ve grown.”
She was disappointed that her daughter was not being a good person. Her daughter was livid with her punishment.
She slammed a door and refused to speak to her for two days in a row. She sobbed over that, but she did it while alone in her car, where nobody could see.
A week ago was her daughter’s birthday, and she stuck to her word. She didn’t throw her a party. Instead, she gave her a tiny box, and inside was a note she had written her.
“In it, I told her that I love her more than anything. That this wasn’t punishment, it was a consequence. That I will always fight for the version of her that I know is in there: kind, strong, honest, good,” she added.
“She hasn’t said much since, but yesterday, she made dinner without being asked. Cleaned up after herself. Left a note on the fridge that said: ‘Thanks for still loving me even when I mess up. I’ll do better. I promise.'”
“I’m still not sure if I did the right thing. Parenting feels like fumbling in the dark, trying not to trip over your own heart. But for the first time in a while, I feel like I stood up for both of us. And maybe… maybe that’s the kind of love she needed most right now.”
What do you think about that?
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