She’s Not Moving In With Her Boyfriend Because His Daughter Hates Her
If your partner had a child who hated your guts, would that make you hesitate to move in with them? This 27-year-old woman has spent a bit more than two years dating her 32-year-old boyfriend.
Her boyfriend is seriously wonderful. He’s sweet, he supports her, and they have actively discussed getting married and spending forever together.
Her boyfriend has two children with his ex: a daughter who is 12 and a son who is 9. She adores her boyfriend’s son, and he likes her, but her boyfriend’s daughter is a different story.
“She’s never outright disrespectful, but it’s been clear from day one that she doesn’t like me. She avoids me during visits, refuses to engage in conversation, giving one-word answers, and will flat out leave the room if I sit down to watch a movie or join a family activity,” she explained.
“I’ve tried to be patient because I understand that I’m the ‘new person’ and that kids can struggle with these situations, especially when it comes to loyalty to their mom.”
“I’ve really done my best. I’ve never forced her to bond with me, I always give her space, and I’ve tried inviting her to do things like going out for ice cream, shopping, or little crafts, all of which she’s declined or just sat through awkwardly. I even backed off when her dad suggested family trips, because I didn’t want to push and make things worse.”
This brings us to the current problem. Her boyfriend just said he would like her to move into his house and live with the children and him.
Her boyfriend positioned this as an intrinsic progression, and he insisted this would help their family mesh together better.
She turned her boyfriend down in the kindest way she could while admitting she feels uneasy living with him when his daughter obviously hates her.
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She honestly told her boyfriend that she felt like moving in would make it harder on his daughter and put more stress on her.
“He did not take that well and told me I’m letting a child dictate our future and that if I ‘truly loved him,’ I would be willing to make this work and not run away at the first challenge,” she continued.
“He said his daughter just needs more time and that living together would help her get used to me faster. Even some of my friends are saying I might be overthinking this, that kids ‘always warm up eventually,’ and that I’m being too cautious.”
“But in my gut, I feel like moving in now, when things are already strained, would just make everything worse, not better. I don’t want to end up being resented in my own home.”
What advice do you have for her, and do you think it’s wise for her to refuse to live with her boyfriend and his kids?
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