Her Friend’s Daughter Dropped Out Of College, Gained 150 Pounds, And Lives In Filth, But No One Is Allowed To Talk About It
This 46-year-old woman has been close to her friend Amy, who’s 52, for over 20 years. Yet, even two decades later, they still disagree on how to parent their children, and she feels like Amy is allowing her daughter to destroy her life.
For a bit of context, she and Amy first met when their kids were young through mutual playdate groups. They also come from very different backgrounds. While she was in school and living in a trailer at the time, struggling to raise a disabled child, Amy was well-off, had gone to college, and lived in a “McMansion” with a pool.
Despite their differences, Amy cheered her on as she graduated from college, launched her career, bought a home, and eventually divorced her ex. Meanwhile, she supported Amy, who chose to stay in an emotionally abusive marriage.
“Amy single-handedly raised those kids and brought in most of the income. She is a superwoman. Even though I think she sometimes suffers from toxic positivity, I truly love her outlook on life,” she detailed.
As mentioned, the only thing they’ve butted heads over is how to raise their children. She has seemingly tried to teach her kids more responsibility than Amy, who apparently coddles her kids and makes their lives quite easy.
For instance, if her daughter were to forget to bring her lunchbox to school on multiple occasions, she would apologize and tell her daughter to either buy lunch at the cafeteria or wait to eat at home. Amy, on the other hand, would show up to school with the forgotten lunch or take her kids out of school to eat lunch, essentially rewarding them for their mistakes.
This same juxtaposing theme followed her and Amy’s children throughout their lives. Despite her kids having to work and contribute money toward their first cars, Amy’s kids were handed vehicles the day they turned 16 years old.
Plus, even though she supported her children’s wishes to go to college, she made sure they played a role in making that happen. Her kids had to keep up their grades, apply for scholarships, and sometimes make sacrifices, such as couch-surfing for a semester. Nonetheless, this allowed all of them to graduate without any student loan debt.
However, Amy’s children weren’t required to put nearly as much effort into obtaining their education. They earned “horrible” grades in school, meaning they didn’t qualify for any scholarships. So, their college expenses were bankrolled by Amy’s family’s money.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
This didn’t work out the best, either. One of Amy’s kids partied so much that it took them six years to graduate, and another dropped out after Amy had already paid for two semesters.
“As friends, we took this difference in stride even though Amy would occasionally say how unfair my kids’ lives were, as she thought I could have made life easier for them,” she explained.
“I do have the means to help my kids now, and I do when appropriate.”
Still, there’s one thing about her friend that’s been rubbing her the wrong way: how Amy is handling her daughter, Emma.
The 22-year-old dropped out of college nearly three years ago, started living in Amy’s game room at the time, and hasn’t left since. Emma has never dated and doesn’t have any friends. Rather, Amy’s daughter has supposedly put on over 150 pounds and spends around 20 hours of each day playing video games.
This made things especially awkward just last week when Amy asked her to come over and wanted her help upstairs. She hadn’t gone upstairs in Amy’s house in years, and while there, she accidentally opened the door to the game room, exposing the squalor Emma had been living in.
“I look, and there are about two feet of trash waste on the floor, from Coke cans to cookie wrappers. Emma has been sitting on the couch and throwing her trash behind the couch. This is weeks’ worth of trash. There is a bowl with yellow fluid near the couch,” she revealed.
At the time, she just shut the door and didn’t say anything to Amy. Then, she and her friend acted as if nothing had even happened.
Now, she can’t stop thinking about the situation. She knows that Amy has become extremely protective of Emma over the years, and her friend doesn’t allow anyone to suggest that Emma isn’t “thriving in life.”
In fact, she’s previously tried to broach the topic of getting Emma therapy for addiction and possibly depression. According to her, Emma has always been around two years behind her peers in terms of social development as well.
But despite Amy actually working with severely disabled children as her profession, her friend has never let anyone help Emma.
“Emma can be loving and funny, like pee-your-pants funny. She has a lot to offer, but she is so very spoiled at this point. Addiction has made her a shell of the person she was,” she admitted.
She clarified that she genuinely loves both Amy and Emma, but she doesn’t feel like she can speak up about what Emma needs, and that’s really getting to her. She thinks it’s been an “elephant in the room” for years, and now, it’s taking a toll on her relationship with her best friend.
“I feel guilty, as it’s not my business, but I can’t help but judge. I want to help my friend, but I’m also tired of the behavior I’ve seen increasing over the years,” she vented.
What would you do if you believed your friend’s parenting choices were negatively impacting their child’s life? Should she try to talk to Amy again or keep her opinions to herself?
You can read the original post below.
More About:Relationships