Being a parent is one of the most important jobs you can have, but parenting a special needs child comes with its own unique set of challenges to overcome.
This 25-year-old woman has four younger siblings: a 13-year-old sister, a 14-year-old brother, a 17-year-old brother, and a 22-year-old sister.
Her 22-year-old sister has special needs and functionally, she’s stuck at the age of 10. Her sister has a tough time regulating her emotions, and she frequently melts down or acts out in disruptive ways.
“Because of her condition, the rest of us are always expected to ‘be the bigger person,’ which I understand, she has limitations that we don’t,” she explained.
The problem is it’s exhausting, because her mom and dad will not correct her sister’s behavior, and they seemingly give her a pass for being special needs.
In contrast, her parents absolutely would call out her and her other siblings if they behaved in the exact same way as her special needs sister.
They had a gathering not too long ago to celebrate her mom’s birthday, and they all began talking about how parenting is hard, yet even more difficult when a special needs child is involved.
“Someone made a comment about how I’d understand when I have kids of my own, and I responded that I probably won’t, since I already helped raise the four siblings who came after me, and (I didn’t say this part out loud) because I don’t think I want to parent a special needs child,” she explained.
“Then I said something that really set my parents off. I mentioned that people who want to have kids should seriously consider whether they’d be equipped to handle raising a special needs child, because it’s a possibility. That’s one of the reasons I’m hesitant about becoming a parent, I’ve already experienced how hard it can be.”
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“My parents were furious. They acted like I said the most offensive thing imaginable. They told me that “no one thinks like that” and that people have kids because they want a family, not because they’re weighing the risks of what might happen.”
She thinks it is realistic to stop and consider the odds of having a child with special needs prior to getting pregnant, as it can happen. She believes that it’s the responsible thing to do.
She didn’t get honest with any of her siblings present; it was just her parents, her grandparents, her uncle, and her aunt involved in the discussion.
But all of her family members quickly took her mom and dad’s side, not hers, so she’s wondering if it was wrong of her to say it’s important to weigh if you’re prepared to parent a child with special needs before starting a family.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
