He Divorced His Wife After She Got Pregnant, And He Wants Nothing To Do With His Kid
Some people build their entire life around the understanding that they do not want children, and for him, that decision was crystal clear from the start. He was honest about it before marriage, reinforced it when his wife began hinting otherwise, and ultimately left when she made the choice to have a baby, knowing he didn’t want to be a father.
He’s upheld every legal and financial responsibility the court set, and he’s stayed completely out of his son’s life per the agreement. Now, years later, his ex is trying to claim his physical presence in the same town is vital, despite the fact that she fought for full custody and he’s had no relationship with the child.
His family and hers see his move as abandoning the boy all over again, but from his perspective, he’s just living the life they all agreed to when custody and support were decided.
The question is whether his geographical proximity truly matters when the emotional and parental connection was never allowed, or wanted, to exist in the first place.
For the last decade, this 38-year-old man has been married to his 37-year-old wife. They were high school sweethearts who ended up in a committed relationship after getting to see what else was out there.
From the start, he and his wife were opposed to having kids. They got married when he was 24, and they absolutely went through a honeymoon phase where everything was just incredible.
They started out living in a studio apartment, and as he moved up in his career, they were able to purchase a home.
“At first we both used to roll our eyes at kids, saying ‘no thanks’ to anyone who asked and joked that if we grew old and alone with nobody to care for us, we’re gonna cause chaos in a nursing home,” he explained.
“6 years into our marriage, she started saying things like, ‘Wow. I forget how big this yard is, imagine a kid running around here,’ and …’I hit my hip on that sharp counter edge again, imagine if a kid would be running around.'”
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Eventually, he sat down with his wife to have a serious conversation about her comments. She sort of had a breakdown and admitted that her little nephew made her realize she wanted nothing more than to be a mom.
They got into an enormous argument, and he insisted he was not changing his mind on the topic of kids, so they should get divorced.
His wife said she loved him and he was her priority, so she was hoping the whole wanting kids thing would be a passing phase for her.
She suggested getting a puppy instead so she could mom something, and that’s what they did. His wife appeared happy, and she stopped talking about having kids.
But two years later, his wife dragged up the kid conversation yet again, which resulted in another argument. They began bickering nearly daily as his wife got more aggressive about being a mom.
Following months of fighting and him spending many nights sleeping on their couch, he brought up a divorce, since he and his wife didn’t want the same thing.
His wife replied that she missed some of her pills, and he made it clear that if she was pregnant, he would waste no time filing for a divorce.
He packed his things, went to stay with his mom and dad, and then two days later, his wife texted him a photo of a positive pregnancy test.
She added that she thought he would be an incredible dad, so he had to just trust her on that. He promptly called his lawyer, filed for a divorce, and moved out of their house.
“After a very messy period and after she eventually gave birth to a boy, I finally got settled in court for paying child support and just that, I had it written officially that I cannot be forced in any way to be part of the child’s life with my ex’s consent as she agreed to take on full custody yet I was constantly harassed by her and her family to visit or call and had to file for some temporary restraining orders,” he said.
His son is currently four, and he has kept his promise to stay out of the kid’s life since he has not changed his mind about being a dad.
Recently, he was given a promotion with an enormous salary increase, but he was required to move away and leave town.
He accepted the offer, but not before going to court to make sure everything was in order since he does still have to pay child support. He then told his now ex-wife that he was leaving town, and she congratulated him on his promotion.
“I move in about 2 weeks, and last week I got served by my ex’s lawyer stating that my moving away will cause emotional distress and, I quote, ‘a negative impact on the minor’s mental and physical wellbeing’ and that my presence in the same town as them was ‘vital’ for him,” he continued.
His lawyer has advised him that this is all nonsense, though he may have to make an appearance in court. His family and his ex-wife’s family are all accusing him of being a jerk.
They think that even though he wants to stay out of his son’s life, he should be located close by in case of emergencies.
His brother-in-law actually told him that his ex is holding out hope that he will stay in their town, but he’s halfway moved into his new place already.
This won’t change his son’s life, and he has no intention of ever meeting him.
“I kinda feel bad now because even though I am still not changing my mind about kids, that little dude is innocent. It’s not his fault that his mom is delusional,” he stated.
Do you think he’s a jerk for leaving town and his son and ex behind?
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