He Doesn’t Love His Wife As Much As His Ex-Girlfriend, And He Hates Himself For It
Sometimes the hardest part of moving on isn’t finding someone new; it’s realizing that love doesn’t always feel the same the second time around.
This man is happily married and appreciates the life he’s built with his wife, yet he admits he doesn’t love her with the same intensity he once felt for his ex.
It was the kind of love that consumed him, and he can’t shake the guilt of wondering why he doesn’t feel that same way now.
Back in 2018, this 29-year-old man split up with his ex-girlfriend after close to four years of dating. Their breakup was amicable, and they talked from time to time via text.
When the relationship came to an end, he and his ex didn’t have any hatred for one another. Instead, there was still love there.
“For me, it was a kind of love where I was completely into her, and I could do anything for her. Whenever I told her I love her, that ‘I love you’ came from the bottom of my heart,” he explained.
He moved on, though, and five years ago, he married his wife, and he knows his ex has gone on to get married too.
He cares for and likes his wife. He does miss her when she’s not at home with him, and they enjoy spending time together.
“I don’t even feel like eating or going out without her, but somewhere I think I don’t love her, at least not in the same way I loved my ex,” he said.
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“My wife loves me deeply, and I feel guilty that my heart does not reciprocate the same feeling. I do tell my wife, ‘I love you,’ but these words do not come from the bottom of my heart.”
“Sometimes I tell her that I love her just so that she doesn’t feel bad. I know I am being a bad person here, and my wife deserves someone better. I have tried, but my heart just doesn’t feel what I want it to feel for my wife.”
While he knows he would never cheat on his wife, if he were faced with the decision to choose her or his ex, he’s not sure he would pick his wife.
In his heart of hearts, he would rather be with his ex, and he hates himself for not having unconditional love for his wife.
He’s left wondering how he can make himself only want his wife.
In the end, he has to decide what matters more: chasing the intensity of a past love or appreciating the stability and devotion he has now.
No two relationships will ever look exactly the same, and holding his marriage up against that memory will only eat away at him.
If he’s struggling, it may be time to be honest with himself about what he really wants, instead of living in the shadow of what used to be.
What advice do you have for him?
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