Her Boyfriend Pushed For An Open Relationship, Then Freaked Out On Her For Hooking Up With A Coworker
Open relationships only work when the rules apply to both people involved. But for one woman, agreeing to her boyfriend’s version of an open relationship turned out to be anything but fair.
After she finally stepped outside the relationship once, something he does regularly, his reaction exposed the double standard she can’t ignore.
Ten months ago, this 27-year-old woman began dating her 29-year-old boyfriend named Jake. From the beginning, Jake mentioned that he was not a believer in monogamy.
She’s never been into what Jake refers to as ‘ethical non-monogamy,’ but since she liked him so much, she said yes when he pushed for an open relationship.
They laid down their ground rules and agreed to have other romantic partners, but they had to be safe and honest about their hookups.
She thought it was a fair arrangement and didn’t foresee any problems, as they were on the same page about it all.
“Over time, I genuinely fell for this guy. I know he has a couple of regular FWB situations, but nothing romantic,” she explained.
“Meanwhile, I’ve been pretty much exclusively focused on him because our connection felt so special that I didn’t really want anyone else.”
“About six weeks ago, I went out with some coworkers after a particularly stressful project deadline. I had way too many drinks and ended up going home with this guy from another department.”
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Hooking up with her coworker did not mean anything to her. It was just a way to blow off some steam and relieve some of her stress.
She did tell Jake about her hookup the following day, as they had promised to be transparent with one another.
Well, Jake promptly freaked out on her and accused her of disrespecting their relationship while acting in a reckless fashion.
She was shocked, since she was following the rules they had already set forth. Ever since her confession, Jake has been super controlling, clingy, and skeptical of her.
“He interrogates me about every male colleague I mention, demands to see my work texts, and wants me to share my calendar so he knows where I am at all times,” she added.
“When I point out the hypocrisy, that he still sees his other partners regularly, he says it’s ‘completely different’ because his connections are ‘established and respectful, while mine was just ‘random and impulsive.’ He claims he needs ‘multiple connections to feel emotionally fulfilled,’ but that I should find everything I need in him.”
She’s beginning to see this is not an open relationship, like Jake has led her to believe it is. Instead, Jake is just trying to keep her all to himself while getting her consent to cheat on her with whoever he wants.
While she loves Jake with all of her heart, she’s wondering if she should stay in their relationship or walk away.
What do you think?
I think Jake just wants to have his cake and eat it too, and I’m left trying to figure out where this man gets the audacity.
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