His Daughter Returned The Car He Bought Her And Doesn’t Want Him To Pay For College Because She Thinks He Neglected Her Brother
This man has spent the past two years trying to rebuild his relationship with his daughter after serving time in prison, getting clean, and turning his life around.
But recently, he found out the real reason his daughter began icing him out was because she believed he was also her brother’s father, even though that’s not the case, and his ex-wife really had her son with another man.
His whirlwind of a story starts all the way back in college, where he and his ex-wife first met. At the time, she was “troubled;” meanwhile, he’d grown up in a small town in the Bible Belt and had previously been very sheltered.
And while he doesn’t blame his ex-wife for his later addiction, he noted that he was introduced to substances while hanging out with her and her friends.
Not long afterward, his ex eventually got pregnant, too, and his parents forced them to get married. Apparently, she didn’t have any real support from her family, and his parents refused to support them unless they tied the knot to avoid “living in sin.”
Thankfully, his ex got sober while she was pregnant, but he wasn’t able to. Everything was also further complicated around the time his daughter was 3 years old, and his brother died.
“Things really went left for me. I got deeper into the substances and really changed,” he recalled.
According to him, his ex tried to be there for him, but it was understandably tough on her. She was practically raising their daughter as a single mom while he struggled to hold a job, had some run-ins with the law, and bounced in and out of jail.
Eventually, he also started to think his ex was cheating due to their lack of a real husband-wife relationship. She kicked him out over his suspicions, too, but when he returned a few weeks later to steal some items and sell them to fund his addiction, he caught his ex sleeping with a family friend.
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The encounter ultimately turned physical, which he admits was his fault, and due to his prior arrests, he was sent away to prison. But honestly, it was there that he worked to change his life for the better.
“In prison, I got clean, changed my life around, even found God, and I can say I am not that man anymore. I’m grateful to God for this second lease on life, ” he explained.
“My wife divorced me, of course, and my parents told me not to fight her on anything, so I didn’t. I have a job, even found love again, and I try day by day to make better decisions for everyone I’ve let down.”
Additionally, over the past two years, he’s been working to mend his relationship with his daughter, who is now a teenager. He’d tried prior to leaving prison by writing letters, but his daughter never responded. So, once he got out, he “subtly” attempted to reach out without coming off as overbearing, and his efforts weren’t met with much of a response.
He clarified that he has been helping his ex-wife out financially ever since he was released. He also bought his daughter a car when she turned 16, and he was upset that he never got so much as a simple “thank you.”
“I saw the videos on social of how happy she was, and while I do know she owes me nothing, I would have loved to have been a part of the day,” he said.
“I’ve been the one giving my daughter her monthly allowance on top of the agreed-upon child support between her mother and me. I am also going to be paying for college for her, which is where things kind of tipped off.”
For some background on his daughter, she is supposedly brilliant and received full-rides to two different colleges. Yet, she only got a partial scholarship to her dream school, so he stepped up and agreed to cover the rest of the expenses.
That’s what prompted his daughter to “extend an olive branch,” and he was invited to her high school graduation. Following the ceremony, she even visited his grandparents’ house for the weekend, which was an emotional get-together.
So, he was totally shocked when his daughter reached out this month, asked to have a sit-down conversation before she leaves for college, and blew up on him. Out of nowhere, she claimed that she no longer wanted his financial support and was returning the car. It turns out that his ex never told her it was him who purchased the vehicle.
Additionally, his daughter stated that she was only going to attend one of the colleges that offered her a full ride, rather than letting him cover the tuition.
“I was shocked, hurt, and confused, but I really tried to keep my composure. She said she resents me for neglecting her brother, who isn’t my child…,” he revealed.
Spoiler alert: his ex-wife got pregnant around the same time he went away to prison, and apparently, his ex led everyone to believe that he was the father of her son. So, his daughter thought that, through his letters and other acts of affection, he was totally favoring one child over another.
It also came out that his daughter only accepted the invitation to his grandparents’ home to basically test him and see how he’d treat her brother. Then, she saw how he acted as if her brother didn’t exist, and she believed it was extremely unfair.
“She said he needs a dad more than her. She said she doesn’t understand me and doesn’t want to, but her being close to me hurts her brother, and she can’t do that. So if I’m not interested in a relationship with him, then she’s not interested in a relationship with me,” he detailed.
He was honestly too caught off guard to even speak, which is why he just sat there while his daughter screamed at him. Then, after she left, his ex-wife called him in tears and asked him to just “play along” with the whole facade to avoid exposing her.
In fact, his ex felt that, after everything, he owed her that much and encouraged him to just accept her other child as his son.
Upon speaking to his parents, he realized that they agreed with his ex. His girlfriend and sponsor, on the other hand, think it’s a horrible idea.
“My sponsor reminded me that this new path I’m on is about truth, integrity, and no more secrets. One secret can be the tipping point to old habits,” he vented.
“Not gonna lie, I haven’t felt this down and dejected in years. I’ve tried everything to mend the past. Why is something like this happening to me? I know I wasn’t a good person, but I don’t think I deserve this.”
The saddest part is that, previously, he’d been okay with his daughter resenting him since he thought it was due to his own poor choices. But in reality, it was because of a lie, and now, he feels like being truthful has the potential to make things with his daughter even worse.
Not to mention, he feels bad for his ex’s son as well. Especially due to the fact that the boy’s dad is “around.” He’s actually seen the guy on Instagram and Facebook, posting with his wife, and his ex’s son even plays football with the guy’s twins!
“I did start this only being concerned about my daughter, but I have so much empathy for the boy also,” he shared.
“He’s been made to believe his own father doesn’t even care about him, and the truth is worse.”
As for his own role in this whole ordeal, he’s been wondering what to do for weeks now. He doesn’t know whether he should just play along for his ex-wife’s sake, or if telling his daughter the truth once and for all would be the right thing to do.
How would you feel if your ex allowed your child to hate you for years over something that truly wasn’t your fault? Do you agree with his sponsor that honesty is the best policy here? What advice would you give him?
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