His Wife Cheated And Thinks He Should Continue Funding Her Life

Portrait of an attractive young businesswoman standing inside her office.
Mikolette M/peopleimages.com - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Infidelity doesn’t just break trust; it rattles the entire foundation of a marriage, right down to the smallest everyday choices.

For him, it’s not just about his wife kissing a coworker; it’s about the ripple effect of betrayal. He’s been carrying nearly all the financial weight of their life together, but now he’s questioning why he should keep showing up the same way for someone who stepped out on him.

His wife calls it financial abuse. He calls it setting boundaries after being cheated on. And caught between those two versions of reality, he’s left wondering if pulling back makes him cruel, or simply unwilling to keep playing the part of a husband she didn’t respect.

Three months ago, this 36-year-old man learned that his 34-year-old wife had cheated on him with a coworker. He was devastated when he found out about the affair.

While his wife promises she only ended up kissing her coworker and didn’t do anything more than that, he just does not believe her version of events.

“We’ve been in therapy since, but here’s the kicker, she still expects me to keep paying for everything as if nothing happened,” he explained.

“I pay the mortgage, utilities, car payments, groceries, literally 90% of our expenses. She works part-time ‘because she’s tired from the kids,’ but somehow had plenty of energy to meet up with this guy after work.”

“I told her that until trust is rebuilt, I’m not comfortable funding her lifestyle like before. She called me ‘controlling’ and ‘financially abusive,’ and said that money shouldn’t be used as punishment.”

You see, he believes that once trust is gone, your spouse cannot anticipate that you will continue giving in the same way.

Portrait of an attractive young businesswoman standing inside her office.
Mikolette M/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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His wife chose to cheat on him, so he can’t keep up showing up with the same financial support, love, and affection for her anymore.

Those are the consequences of her affair.

His wife has since gone around telling all of her loved ones that he’s been distant and not paying for things anymore, and they’re all on her side, but he says that’s because his wife has not given them all of the details.

“Am I wrong here? Is it really ‘financial abuse’ to set boundaries after being cheated on, or is she just trying to guilt me so she can have her cake and eat it too?” he wondered.

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