His Wife Spoils Their Daughters And Neglects Their Son: Now He’s Planning A Surprise That Could Start A Parenting War
When you have multiple kids, it’s essential to make each child feel that you listen to, care for, and love them all equally. But unfortunately, this 38-year-old man believes his wife, who’s 36, is failing to meet that standard.
For some context, they have three kids, Ava, Lily, and Caleb, who are 15, 12, and 10 years old, respectively. And while he tries to show all of them the same amount of love, he admitted that their household still feels unequal.
“Especially when it comes to how my wife treats our son compared to our daughters,” he noted.
Apparently, she’s super close to Ava and Lily because they can bond over things such as makeup, fashion, high school drama, and other “girl stuff.”
That’s all fine and well, too, but over the years, he’s watched his wife’s relationship with their daughters turn into pretty obvious favoritism.
According to him, Ava and Lily are afforded more freedom and rarely get disciplined the same way as Caleb. They’re also given more expensive items by his wife for no other reason than “just because.”
So, while Ava probably hasn’t done the dishes in around a year, Caleb is regularly expected to complete various chores, such as vacuuming, taking out the trash, and yard work.
“My wife brushes it under the rug with, ‘He’s a boy. He needs the discipline. The girls are more fragile.’ That line never really sat well with me,” he explained.
“But what’s been irking me the most recently is the way she handles birthdays.”
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For instance, when it was Ava’s birthday, his wife pulled out all the stops. She rented an outdoor party venue and hosted a “boho picnic,” which featured fairy lighting, a real photographer, and matching outfits for Ava and all of her friends.
Lily also received star treatment on her birthday with a spa-themed slumber party and personalized robes for her and her guests.
Yet, when it came time to celebrate Caleb’s birthday, the whole affair was super lackluster. They ate pizza and a cake from the supermarket. Not to mention, his decorations just included one “happy birthday” sign that wasn’t even taped up straight.
He made it clear that the issue wasn’t money. In fact, they could’ve afforded to give Caleb a much better birthday party. Rather, his wife just claimed that their son “didn’t care about that sort of thing like the girls do.”
Honestly, though, he begs to differ. He’s noticed how Caleb looks at his sisters’ birthday celebrations, despite never saying anything outright, and he believes his son deserves better.
That’s why, for Caleb’s birthday this year, he’s begun secretly planning a surprise party behind his wife’s back. He wound up booking his son’s favorite trampoline park and started collecting decor in the theme of Caleb’s favorite video game. He also figured out what his son’s dream cake flavor would be: chocolate topped with cookies.
The issue is that he hasn’t spoken to his wife about Caleb’s surprise party, and he knows that she’s going to be livid.
“She gets ridiculously possessive over planning birthdays, but the thing is, when it comes to Caleb, she really doesn’t put in the effort. She just knocks something together at the last minute and acts like that’s all he’s ever actually wanted,” he said.
So, he actually plans to keep the party a secret and tell his wife on the night of the event. He just doesn’t want her to shut the whole thing down before Caleb gets the chance to enjoy a memorable birthday for once.
“I want him to be made to feel as precious as his sisters are. Because he is,” he shared.
Still, he’s begun second-guessing himself and is worried that his wife will accuse him of blindsiding her, attempting to make her look bad, or, ironically, favoring Caleb.
He definitely doesn’t want to start some “parenting war” with his own wife, either, and he realizes the situation is going to spark tension in their relationship.
This has left him torn and wondering whether secretly planning the surprise party to help his son feel “seen” is justified or a jerky idea.
How would you feel in Caleb’s shoes? Do you agree that his son deserves to be treated the same way? Should he tell his wife about the party or not?
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