His Wife’s Mad That He’s Raising A Baby With Her, Yet Dumped His Ex For Wanting Kids
He didn’t walk away from his ex-girlfriend because he stopped loving her; he walked away because he thought it was the right thing to do.
With a brutal genetic history behind him, he couldn’t imagine risking a child’s life just to make his partner happy.
So he let her go, so she could have the future she wanted, even if it didn’t include him. But now, years later, that decision is being thrown back in his face… by the woman he married.
This 29-year-old man dumped his 28-year-old girlfriend four years ago because she wanted to have children, and he didn’t.
They dated for five years, and he made it clear to his ex that he was not interested in having kids, since there’s a genetic heart disorder that runs in his family.
This disorder has resulted in the death of four of his siblings so far, and he does have one sister with the condition who is remarkably still alive.
Luckily, he does not have the genetic heart disorder himself, but he can absolutely pass it on if he were to biologically have kids.
His ex was aware of the danger and wouldn’t listen when he suggested alternative options for building a family.
“A few months after she brought up having biological children, I ended our relationship. I didn’t want to hold her back from having her biological children,” he explained.
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He has since gone on to marry his friend from childhood. While they weren’t as close in middle school, they reunited at his cousin’s gender reveal party (and his cousin does not have the condition).
He and his wife traded numbers and quickly started dating after that. When their relationship turned serious, his wife revealed that she was pregnant with another man’s child.
He was uneasy about it initially, and he confessed to his wife that he dumped his ex because she wanted to have kids of her own.
That made his wife worried, and she questioned him about whether he was interested in being a dad. He said yes, he was happy to have kids.
“Years have gone by. My ex-girlfriend happened to see out out doing some window shopping as a family. She acted all friendly, but pulled me aside to question me about my marriage and why I was choosing to now raise a child without her,” he added.
“I told her that I didn’t want to pass down my genetics, which isn’t tied to me not wanting to be a dad. She got angry at first, then really sad, and started crying. She was crying because I moved on from her so quickly, and she hasn’t moved on from me.”
“Later, my wife brought up what she heard and saw and got angry with me. She said it was horrible for me to break up with my ex-girlfriend for such a dumb reason. Now my wife won’t talk to me. [Am I the jerk] for ending a relationship over not wanting biological children?”
I think he did the hard and right thing in not wanting to gamble with biology. And the fact that both women, past and present, have twisted his caution into cowardice only makes the whole thing sting more.
He made an impossibly painful decision with someone else’s future in mind. If that makes him a jerk, then maybe doing the right thing just doesn’t matter anymore.
What do you think?
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