How would you feel if you were the one working hard every single day while your partner stayed home on your dime and expected more out of you?
This man’s wife is currently a stay-at-home mom, and they have two kids who are 13 and 15. He’s the one who handles their family finances and budgeting, and while he tries to include his wife in all of this, she always says it’s not interesting to her.
“We are comfortable financially, mostly because I’ve always avoided debt and been frugal; we also live in a LCOL city, which helps a lot,” he explained.
“My wife is the spender between us, and it seems she’s always pushing the limits and wanting to spend more on lifestyle, mostly for her, like makeup, eyelashes, haircare, face creams, nails, waxing, etc.”
“We set a budget of $800 for each of us to spend on whatever we want, but she always uses hers up, then wants me to pay for takeout or buy her things on Amazon because ‘I don’t even spend much.’ It’s true, I mostly garden, hike, bike, and read, but I do save up sometimes for big-ticket items like a new Kindle or scribe, or a new bike.”
He’s attempted to tell his wife that it’s unfair of her to want his fun money because she goes through hers so fast. Anyway, he recently was able to pay off their mortgage since he’s been putting more money down on paying it off every month, and when his wife found out, she demanded a new car.
He declined and pointed out that the extra money will be going to their retirement. He and his wife discussed retiring early and traveling the world together back when they first met, and it’s something they both still want, so that’s what he’s sticking to.
His wife got angry about his plan for the money and argued that they could pass away tomorrow, so it’s not like they need to sit on a pile of cash.
“One of our cars is a 2017, and the other is a 2014. We paid for both in cash when we bought them, and they’ve been nothing but reliable. She said our cars were ‘old’ and that she wants a new one, and seems pretty set on the idea,” he added.
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“I told her, ‘Fine, we can buy a new car once you get a job and you’ve been working for at least a year. ‘ She was furious with that comment and said I was [a jerk] and a cheapskate.”
He tried to reason with his wife and say he’s planning for their future, and since their kids will be in college before they know it, they really need to double down on saving.
He said that in a few years, they can afford a used car for her once the kids are off to college, but they need to start saving their money for all of that now.
His wife got even more upset with him after that and is no longer speaking to him. She thinks he’s a monster when he’s just trying to prioritize their family.
“For reference, our income is $140,000, and we are in our mid-30s. She’s never held a job because she’s always been a SAHM, so paying off the mortgage to me is a huge relief, and I want to put that extra money to good use,” he continued.
I think it’s crazy that he gives his wife $800 every month and she is offended that he wants her to get a job in order to buy a brand-new car.
She sounds pretty entitled to me, and their kids are old enough that she doesn’t really need to be a stay-at-home mom. She’s taking advantage of him, and she’s already acting like she is retired.
Do you think he’s wrong for expecting his wife to get a job if she wants a new car?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
