Losing a close friend is painful enough, but losing your maid of honor, the person you expected to stand beside you on your wedding day, can be downright heartbreaking. And that’s exactly what happened to TikToker Sabria (@sabriasparrow).
“So, I recently fell out with my maid of honor, and not to be dramatic, but this is one of the worst things I’ve ever been through,” Sabria began her video.
“Ultimately, what happened feels like a perfect storm of jealousy, miscommunication, and racial bias,” she continued.
“I want to talk about what happened from my perspective because I feel like there are a lot of lessons to be learned and because it feels like a perfect example of how human motives and biases can show up in social events and interactions.”
Earlier this summer, her best friend/maid of honor, Ella, had a destination wedding in a different state. She didn’t have a formal wedding party, but she asked all her friends to wear certain colors and give speeches.
Sabria and some of her other friends decided to throw a bachelorette party for Ella. The person who came up with the whole idea was Ella’s other best friend, Rose.
There were six of them altogether. During the party planning, Sabria and Rose started texting a lot. They didn’t know each other very well before this, but they got along, and it seemed like they could be friends. Overall, the bachelorette party was a success.
A few weeks later, it was time for the wedding. Sabria and her fiancé would be there for four days and four nights. She had been experiencing some financial stress, but was determined not to let it affect Ella’s celebration.
The first night was fun, but the next night was the welcome party, and that was when things took a turn. A few hours before the wedding party, Rose texted all the girls and informed them that Ella’s husband’s friends were taking him out for a bachelor’s night.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
So, the girls took Ella out to a club. They were having a great time until one of the girls sang a racial slur in one of the songs that was playing.
“I get a little bit annoyed at that, especially because [my fiancé and I] are the only black couple there, which means I’m the only black woman there, and it feels really disrespectful to me,” Sabria said.
“But the last thing I’m going to do is make a scene or have beef with someone during Ella’s wedding weekend, so I don’t say anything at all.”
After the club, they met up with the boys at the club they were at. Suddenly, she felt someone grab her waist. It was Owen, a guy that Rose was into.
Sabria thought he had accidentally touched the wrong girl. He apologized, but then he did it again a few minutes later. It was really uncomfortable and felt pretty violating. She kept quiet about it because she didn’t want to disrupt the celebration.
Then, her sister called to tell her that her boyfriend of many years had passed away in a motorcycle accident. This was obviously distressing, and Sabria did her best to console her while still being present for the rest of the trip.
It all came to a head when it was time for Sabria’s speech at Ella’s wedding.
Sabria didn’t think anything was wrong with her speech, but about two or three months later, Ella revealed that it felt backhanded, stereotypical, and misogynistic.
Sabria’s speech was supposed to show the contrast between Ella and a typical English major. It was not supposed to be an insult, but a testament to her depth and complexity.
“My intention was to show that she was both smart and pretty and to subvert dominant stereotypes, but to her, it was a hurtful reminder of insulting stereotypes that have been used to put her in a box,” explained Sabria.
Even though she had meant well, her speech had hurt Ella on her day of celebration. Sabria tried to apologize and explain herself, but Ella decided to end the friendship.
Sabria also felt like the situation was influenced by her race and that it impacted how she was perceived because many of her intentions at the wedding had been misinterpreted.
It just goes to show that you can have the best intentions but still be misunderstood. The way she was treated throughout the wedding proved that no one there was her real friend.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
