For TikToker Ashley (@blahblahblah1957), it was bad enough that her husband had cheated on her, but after finding out that he had cheated with an underage student at the school where he worked, it was a different kind of pain and betrayal.
She met her now ex-husband many years ago when she was finishing up her undergraduate program in college. He was finishing up his master’s degree at the same time.
They were both studying to be teachers. They met in the gym at their college, and he claimed to have just gotten out of a long-term relationship.
“He kept telling me that he was going to break up with this girl, that she was too nice, and he didn’t know how to end things with her, and all this stuff just to keep me stringing along,” she said.
They would go through periods where they would talk on and off, hang out, and not hang out. Once, they didn’t speak for a few months, but they ran into each other at the gym again, and that rekindled the spark.
For their first date, he took her shopping at designer outlet stores in upstate New York. He was very charming, funny, handsome, athletic, and smart.
They ended up dating for seven years. He finally proposed to her in Central Park in December. They were engaged for about a year and had a beautiful summer wedding in June.
But a few months later, she received an anonymous email at the end of September. Coincidentally, it was also the day of her best friend’s wedding.
The email was from the woman who had been having an affair with Ashley’s husband before, during, and after their wedding. She left a phone number for her to call.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Ashley later confronted her husband at home and revealed that she knew about his affair. She wanted to see if he would come clean.
He admitted to everything. He had been cheating with another teacher at the school he was working at. Shortly after their honeymoon, he had tried to cut contact with her. The mistress retaliated by emailing Ashley.
When she spoke to the mistress, she discovered that the mistress had known her husband was married. He would write her letters and poems, which was exactly what he did for Ashley at the beginning of their relationship.
Ashley felt totally betrayed. She channeled her anger and frustration by smashing the pictures of them hanging on the walls. She told him to pack his stuff and give her some space to figure things out.
The next day, he went to the church where they got married and confessed his sins to the priest. The priest then called Ashley to talk. She and her husband decided to start therapy, but it didn’t really seem to help.
There were times when she suspected that he was still cheating because she would find women’s underwear in his laundry, women’s jackets in his car, or come home smelling like women’s perfume.
She did not yet have the courage to file for divorce, but as more time passed, the less she saw a real future with him. Then, the pandemic happened, and they were both working from home.
“You’d think that it would bring us closer, but in fact, it just drifted us even further apart,” said Ashley. “All of a sudden, he started to lose a lot of weight, and he was visibly depressed, very anxious, going to the bathroom a lot, and I noticed these signs.”
He was so busy all the time with tutoring, coaching, and soccer tournaments. When her birthday came around, he didn’t make any effort to plan something for her. It got to the point where he didn’t even sleep at home most nights, and when he did, they slept in separate beds. They mostly communicated through text once a day.
Finally, she told him that she wanted to contact a divorce lawyer. They didn’t have any kids or a house, so she figured it would be an easy split.
He never tried to fight her on it. They both seemed to know that their relationship was over. After three years of marriage, she filed for divorce. Their divorce was finalized in May 2021.
A month after she filed for divorce, she received a call from her mother-in-law, letting her know that her ex-husband had been arrested, but she didn’t know the details. Soon enough, everything came out in the news. Her ex had been arrested for having relations with one of the underage female soccer players he had been coaching for years.
“Now, I was completely blindsided by this,” said Ashley. “I had no idea, but I was shocked at the time. I went in, told my principal, and she was there to support me.”
“It literally was blowing up on every news channel, including internationally, so I didn’t know if I was going to have to deal with the news coming to my house, my job, whatever it was.”
She immediately called her parents. They packed their stuff and flew over to help her. Her ex got out on bond, met up with her, and tried to explain everything.
She had no idea what to believe. He lost his job and his friends, so she wanted to be there to support him. She felt bad that he had destroyed his life. He is now in jail.
Ashley is moving forward with her life and focusing on finding a partner who gives her joy, safety, and comfort.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
