When a marriage that spanned two decades ends because of a long-lost love, there’s no way the wreckage can be contained to just the parents. For this teen, his dad’s decision to leave his mom for a crush he had back in high school destroyed their family. Now, he’s refusing to give his dad and his new girlfriend the seal of approval he so desperately craves.
It’s been several years since this 19-year-old guy’s dad announced that he was leaving his mom for a high school crush, so he wanted to get divorced.
This blindsided him, his mom, and his three siblings (a 15-year-old sister, a 13-year-old sister, and a 10-year-old brother). His dad swore that he hadn’t cheated, but upon reconnecting with that high school crush of his, all of the old romantic feelings came flooding back, so he wanted a second shot at being with her after missing out.
“He even admitted he never got over her and always knew he’d leave if he got his chance with her. I’ve wanted nothing to do with him since, and my siblings feel similarly, only they have no choice since he has equal custody as mom,” he explained.
“They make life awful for him, and for his girlfriend, though, and all three hope he stops making them socialize with them soon. Since he left Mom, he has tried with me, too.”
“He invited me for family dinners and tried to set up a time for me to meet his girlfriend and for us to figure out a way forward. The only time I responded was to that last part, and I told him the only way forward was no contact.”
He’s only seen his dad once in the last two years, and it was when his mom threw his youngest brother a birthday party. His dad arrived early so that he could corner him into having a conversation.
His dad chastized him for ruining his happiness, but he responded that he destroyed their family, and obviously was guilty of cheating.
He’s convinced his dad was, at the very least, cheating on his mom emotionally when it dawned on him that he wanted to pursue his high school crush, otherwise it doesn’t make any sense.
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His dad once more stressed that he wasn’t a cheater before saying he didn’t see why it concerned him anyway. He pointed out to his dad that it is his business because his dad’s actions impacted his life, and that’s the reason he doesn’t want to speak to him anymore.
“I told him I didn’t [care] about his happiness or that woman he’s with, and he was out of luck if he thinks he will ever get my seal of approval or get me to spend time with him and her,” he continued.
“Dad said my mindset was all wrong, and us having a relationship doesn’t reward him; it’s good for me, and it could add another woman in my life who would be supportive and compassionate when I need it.”
“He said it’s what [my siblings and I] miss out on by rejecting his girlfriend and future wife. He also called me [a jerk] for framing things in the worst possible light and for even thinking about this as rewarding vs. not.”
He walked away from his dad for fear of upsetting his brother at his birthday party, and there you have it, that’s the last time that he’s spoken to his dad.
He’s curious if you think he’s wrong for what he told his dad.
Wow, is his dad a narcissist! He married his mom, knowing she wasn’t his number one choice, wasted her youth, and had kids with her. Again, this was while his dad was ready to leave her at the drop of a hat if his high school crush came back around.
Who does that to people?! I wouldn’t want anything to do with him either if he were my dad. How self-centered and cruel.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
