Growing up alongside someone you wind up dating has a way of making that person feel like they’re so woven into your life that losing them isn’t even a possibility worth considering.
For him, that certainty disappeared in a single conversation where his girlfriend confessed to being interested in another guy while wanting to keep him around, too.
This 20-year-old man has known his 21-year-old girlfriend since back when they were just kids. They spent every day together, including weekends, because their parents are friends from college.
“Our parents had been playing matchmaker, I guess, but I asked her out when we were in high school, and I won’t lie, I was very happy with her, and we even took a gap year to just travel together,” he explained.
A year ago, he moved to his college’s campus because it’s a 2-hour commute by train from his house. He was not interested in waking up at 5 a.m. to make it to class, which is why he relocated.
As for his girlfriend, she still lives with her parents, since she goes to a college that’s 10 minutes from where their families live. He’s been busy with studying, but he’s made it home to visit his girlfriend on the weekends despite his hectic schedule.
Two weeks ago, he was home with his girlfriend, and she wasn’t acting like herself. She then just blurted out her desire to have an open relationship.
He would never, ever entertain that, as monogamy is important to him.
“And I’m [kind of] sitting there in shock cause the girl I honestly thought I was [going to] marry is telling me she wants to sleep around,” he added.
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“…I just ask her if she has anyone in mind, and she again becomes a little nervous, and admits she has a guy in mind, and this part is what I would do differently, but I like lose my temper, and while I don’t scream I do shout at her and I basically called her unfaithful alongside some other stuff, which again, wasn’t okay.”
“At this point, she is crying, and I’m grabbing my jacket to leave, and as she starts apologizing and is like ugly crying, saying she should never have brought it [up], and basically pleading for me not to leave angry with her, and that we should at least talk it out, but I just leave.”
He went ahead and returned to campus, which took him far longer than it should have, because at the time, fewer trains were running.
The following day, his mom found out that he had dumped his girlfriend, and she called him. He was still furious and referred to his girlfriend with some rude names, causing his mom to freak out on him.
He hung up the phone, and since then, his mom has been texting and calling him on a daily basis. Next, his dad got involved and called him to say he needed to hear his girlfriend out.
His dad let him know that his girlfriend wasn’t eating and wasn’t going to class because she was so upset. He thought this seemed like a guilt trip his girlfriend’s parents put together to get him to take her back.
“I’m just so conflicted cause my dad usually isn’t the type to involve himself with these kinds of things, and even he called me. I’m wondering if I should actually listen to my dad and give her a chance to explain herself, or if that’s just going to make things worse for me,” he continued.
“How do I know if it’s worth sitting down and talking it out like they want me to?”
It is bizarre how involved his parents are in his love life, and why does he care about their opinions? His girlfriend made it clear that she wants a chance with this other guy, so he should not entertain anything she has to say to him, and he should remain broken up with her.
Now she’s free to get out there and experiment like she obviously wants to do. He shouldn’t accept being anyone’s second choice, and that’s the position his girlfriend has put him in.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
