Imagine finalizing a divorce, only to let your cheating ex move back in as a “girlfriend” for the sake of your kids, then accidentally getting her pregnant. That’s currently the nightmare he’s living in, and he’s out of love, out of energy, and begging to terminate his unborn baby.
This 36-year-old man and his 36-year-old ex-wife have landed themselves in a sticky situation, and it’s interesting how they even got here.
Now, they spent several years married in the past and had two kids together during that time period: a boy, seven, and a girl, three.
He’s always dreamed of having a bunch of kids, and when he told his ex-wife he wanted to try for a third baby, she shut him down.
“What I didn’t realize at the time [was] that she was cheating on me with a coworker. I ended up discovering this, and we split,” he explained.
“After almost a year apart, she asked me if she could try again, and I agreed. She broke my heart, but I was struggling with 2 kids and decided that I could learn to love her again for the sake of a nuclear family.”
“However, I pushed to finish the divorce as I no longer wanted to have financial assets in common and basically treated her like a new girlfriend at this point.”
It’s been approximately a year now that he and his ex-wife have been living under one roof and acting like girlfriend and boyfriend.
They’re in the middle of reconciliation, which has been challenging, but they’re making it work. His friends and family members can’t see why he took his ex-wife back, so he’s pretty lonely, as they have distanced themselves from him because of it.
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He’s felt a lot of shame for that, but his kids are thriving with both of them back together. He does love his ex-wife for providing their kids with an opportunity for a wonderful life.
Three weeks ago, his ex-wife accidentally got pregnant with his baby, and they have been fighting nonstop about it. His ex-wife wants to keep the baby, and he would like her to get rid of it.
“But now, with this 3rd child on the way, I feel that I can’t carry my family anymore. Despite our reconciliation, I don’t want to bring any more kids into my nightmarish life,” he added.
“I’m a sensitive person, and my broken heart isn’t healing that well. I have low energy and carrying the family, the finances, taking care of the kids, and mending our relationship is taking everything I have. I don’t have any place in my heart, nor the energy, to be [the] father of 3.”
“She’s saying I don’t have the right to force her to [terminate]. I’ve been pleading, begging to spare me from breaking and becoming a bad father, that even though our relationship is on the mend, it will take me a few more years to trust her again, and I don’t want her to be the mother of another of my kids at this point.”
He feels like he’s literally fighting for his family and his life, but he’s worried he’s being a horrific partner to his ex-wife for demanding that she not follow through with the pregnancy.
He’s not convinced their relationship will weather this storm regardless of the outcome. He is also concerned about ending up with three kids to care for part-time if their relationship implodes, which is not what he envisions for his future.
He has thought about simply going along with the birth of his third child and being a devoted dad, but since his ex-wife trapped and lied to him, the hope of regaining the love for her will vanish forever.
“I stopped eating 5 days ago as I’m unable to see [myself] being happy in the future. For the first time in my life, I think this is game over,” he continued.
I think this is the messiest situation I’ll hear about all year. He already admitted that he hates his life, so he really needs to separate from his ex-wife once and for all, and it doesn’t really matter what happens with the baby, because that’s the root of the problem.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
