I think there is a limit to how much one person can be expected to give to someone they love. His dad survived two heart transplants and outlived every expectation, but that came at a massive cost to his family.
Now that his dad’s kidneys are failing, he’s being pressured to step up and keep the streak going. Is it actually selfish to want to keep your own body intact, or is there a point where giving everything finally has to stop?
This man’s dad is one of the oldest living recipients of a heart transplant, and he’s currently 77. Back in 1990, his dad had his first heart transplant, and in 2014, he had a second one, since doctors will not perform the surgery again after you hit the age of 65.
Although his dad has had serious health issues, he’s gotten to see his 10 grandchildren and 6 great-grandchildren enter the world and grow up.
But when he was a kid, his dad was an ugly, abusive, alcoholic. His mom almost left him because of it, and that’s what made his dad change his ways. His dad wasn’t able to fix himself in a day, but in time, he did turn into a much better man.
“He’s well known in the local community and does a lot for the city and for other people. However, this pretty much made him unemployable,” he explained.
“My whole life since then, everything has been about him and what he needs. His appointments, his medications, everything was about him. My mother was always in the background, making everything work.”
“My mother struggled to provide for a husband and 3 kids and keep a roof over our head. She often worked multiple jobs, and we were on welfare and food stamps for a while. We all got jobs to try to help keep everything afloat.”
He was a sixth-grader when he started delivering papers to help bring money into the family, and he’s held down a job since then.
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At 17, he joined the army to make sure he was no longer a burden to his mom. He sent her money every single month up until he got married.
Now, his dad is in need of dialysis and a kidney transplant. His sister has taken to social media to bring awareness to his dad’s plight, and she’s trying to get anyone and everyone to sign up to get tested as a potential donor.
The thing is, he wants to stay far away from all of this, and he has no interest in giving his dad a kidney in the event that he is a match for him.
“I think it’s selfish and unfair to ask anyone in this family who is younger than him (which is everyone aside from his older sister) to donate an organ to an almost 80-year-old that has been on borrowed time since 1990 anyway,” he continued.
“I have been told that I’m being selfish and that we only need one kidney anyway. But what if I need that kidney as I get older? Where does it end? How much do we have to give to keep Frankenstein‘s monster alive?”
Forking over an organ is a big ask. I think he’s resentful of his dad for how hard his childhood was, and he’s entitled to his feelings.
His dad put him and the rest of his family through it, so it makes sense he doesn’t want to help him out in his time of need. I wonder if he can tell his dad’s doctor directly that he’s not interested and get them to tell his family he’s just not a match.
Otherwise, I think everyone will keep on badgering him about it instead of respecting that it’s his body and his choice.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
