Dumping someone over text after you’ve been seeing them for months is one of the most heartless and ruthless things you can do, in my opinion. It’s disrespectful and dismissive.
Do you think you owe someone an in-person conversation if you no longer want to keep seeing them? What would you do if you were in a relationship you were happy with, and your partner texted you without warning to end things?
This 39-year-old man spent the last five months dating a 38-year-old woman named Amy. They went on dates weekly, and everything seemed to be going great. Several weeks ago, Amy dumped him over text, and it was completely out of the blue.
Amy’s excuse for the breakup was pretty bad. She stated she didn’t grasp how much it mattered to her to spend time around her friends and work out after he made a comment (what he said, he can’t even remember), so she thinks it’s best for her to be single.
“She said I was a catch, but still ended things. She also mentioned she noticed signs that we weren’t compatible a while ago. Not sure what she meant by that,” he explained.
“She also mentioned she wanted to be friends, but I responded that I wasn’t interested at this time, but maybe in the future, when I was ready. This came completely out of left field for me. It also happened about 4 weeks before my birthday.”
“The week she ended our relationship, she had prior trips planned to Vegas one weekend with her best friend and Miami the next with some other friends, so we weren’t going to see each other for a few weeks. She’s a social butterfly and collects friends like Pokémon.”
Amy was the first serious relationship he had following his split with his ex-fiancée a year and a half ago, which he took really hard.
He was with his ex-fiancée for nine years, and he ended up moving back home to be with his family in order to try to start fresh. He’s been happy living with his mom after spending so much time apart from her, and he enjoyed helping her out around the house.
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When Amy came into his life, it gave him hope. He never argued with her at all, and they always had a great time, so he’s really not sure why she no longer wants to be in a relationship with him.
Following Amy dumping him, he started to exercise, eat better, and got an evening job to fill up his time and give him more money to save up for when he moves out and finds his own place.
So while he’s feeling healthier and working on his self-improvement, he’s not looking to get back into dating. A couple of days ago, after Amy got back from Miami, she texted him saying she wanted to take him out for dinner, and she picked a restaurant they had gone to in the past that he had enjoyed.
Amy told him she had considered sending him a gift card to celebrate his birthday, but would prefer to take him out for dinner. He declined Amy’s offer and said he was grateful, but was no longer free at night due to his new side job.
“She responded, saying the offer is open anytime, not just around my birthday. Here’s where I’m conflicted: Part of me feels guilty for not offering another time or at least considering it,” he continued.
“But at the same time, the way she ended things suddenly, over text, and now trying to take me out to dinner feels confusing. It seems disrespectful to just end things over a text after spending 5 months together with someone.”
“I feel like it’s more for her than for me. I don’t really have any desire to be friends or reopen anything at this point, but I don’t want to be [a jerk] about the [situation]. I do still care about her.”
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for turning Amy down and not attempting to find another time to go out to dinner with her.
Amy was cruel to dump him through a text message, and her excuse was so lame, I’m not buying it. She needs more time to go to the gym and go out with her friends? Yeah, right.
It sounds like Amy dumped him because she wanted to be free to have some fun on her vacations, and she subscribes to the whole idea of what happens in Vegas stays there.
Amy asking him out to dinner sounds like she’s keeping him around as a backup option or a placeholder. Amy can take a hike, and I think he should block her from being able to contact him.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
