We all have different dealbreakers or things that we can’t seem to live with when it comes to the people we date. But how would you feel if you told a potential love interest about your dealbreaker, only to have them argue with you about it?
Yesterday, this 25-year-old girl went out on a date with a 27-year-old guy who is sweet, but he does have a severe allergy to all nuts that can result in life-threatening anaphylaxis if he comes into contact with them.
They grabbed brunch, and she really wanted to order pancakes, but since they had nuts in them, she had to skip out on ordering that dish.
“I got plain pancakes with zero toppings to avoid cross-contamination. At one point, I accidentally touched the nougat next to my tea, and he asked me to go wash my hands, which I [understood] and immediately did to keep him safe,” she explained.
“Later, we went to another cafe, and I wanted to get a Magnum ice cream, but again I couldn’t because of nuts. At the end of the date, he asked if I wanted a second date.”
“I told him I enjoyed meeting him, but that I needed to think, because honestly, the allergy situation is too much for me long-term.”
Peanut butter is a routine part of her life, and she does enjoy eating a bunch of other products that do contain nuts. Because of that, she would have to make major changes to the way she lives to keep dating this guy.
She’s just not interested in having to give up specific foods for the rest of her life that she enjoys eating, and she wouldn’t want the fear of killing this guy every time she kisses him hanging over her.
When she was honest with this guy about needing to consider his allergy and whether or not she wants to go out on another date with him, he laughed at her dismissively and argued that his needs aren’t a genuine dealbreaker.
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“He said that I could still eat nuts as long as I washed my hands and brushed my teeth every single time at every cafe/at home, and that his family accommodates his allergy easily, so I can too,” she continued.
“He even said that if we become serious, he will undergo therapy to cure his allergy, since it’s such a big deal for me. He finished by repeating again that ‘this is seriously not a real dealbreaker.'”
“But to me, it still IS a dealbreaker. But I feel guilty about that because I know he can’t help it. How can I tell him that I still don’t want to pursue things because of this?”
Look, I’m sure it’s rough living with such a severe allergy, but I’m shocked he argued with her about it being something she doesn’t want to deal with in her dating life.
His trying to tell her what her dealbreaker should be is completely manipulative. He needs to go find a girl who doesn’t like nuts or has a similar allergy to his own.
But it’s wild to me that he expected her to make sacrifices for him after only going on a single date. Honestly, I condone ghosting him. Then he will get the picture!
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
