After spending 20 years building a man up in his legal career, TikToker @the_control_code_book has now been abandoned by him for his new mistress, right when he was about to make partner.
During those 20 years, they also had four children together. Now, she has to start all over and do it alone.
She points out that she spent all those years supporting him, staying loyal to him, managing their lives so that he could be his best self and look good to others.
She helped shape the image he presented to the world by creating an environment that allowed him to focus on his career. The man everyone admired was the result of the life she maintained behind closed doors. But of course, she received none of the credit.
“Not only the fact that I made him look good to others, but if a man has bad character and decides that he’s just done with you, even though you’ve been loyal and you had his four children, and you spent decades building him, guess where all that power goes?” she said.
“It goes with him. All the prestige goes with him; the career goes with him.”
Overall, it was deeply unfair. All of the status, stability, and success that she had a hand in building seemed to stay with him. After their relationship ended, everyone gravitated toward him.
He was the one who seemed calm and put together, while she appeared crazy and disgruntled.
But she had been abused and treated horribly by him throughout their entire relationship, holding onto the hope that things would improve.
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She kept thinking that if they had enough money and a large enough home, they could just live their lives and be happy. The biggest takeaway from her life experiences is that you should not build someone else at the expense of yourself.
“And so, this is why you never build somebody,” said @the_control_code_book.
“You never build something that can be transferred away from you. You can both build yourselves, in parallel, together, but you do not put your time, your effort, your energy, and your resources into another person.”
Looking back, she is able to recognize some of the red flags her ex displayed. According to a comment under her video, she says that the signs include sentences that sound logical and caring on the surface, and positioning himself above her.
In the comments section, some people echoed her perspective, emphasizing the importance of teaching younger generations to prioritize their own growth and independence.
“I think it’s okay for the relationship to be done, but both parties should be equally compensated. Keep moving forward, girl. The tables eventually turn, but by that time, you’ve rebuilt and learned your lesson and are thriving,” commented one person.
“Encouraging my daughters to build themselves only, just like my mother taught me,” added another.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
