If you have a highly communicable disease and don’t disclose that to romantic partners, I think that makes you unforgiveably horrible, since it puts someone else’s health at risk.
What would you do if you found out that the person you’ve been in love with and kissed had herpes? Would that kill your attraction to them?
This 26-year-old man has a female best friend who is the same age as him, and they met back in kindergarten. They were close-knit as kids, and he ended up developing an enormous crush on her.
Six years ago, he worked up the courage to ask her out, only to have her reject him. She was nice about it, but mentioned she didn’t feel the same way about him.
He felt hurt and pulled away from her for a bit, but their friendship bounced back and survived the unrequited love. After they graduated from college, they started careers in separate states, but a year ago, his best friend moved a few minutes from where he lives for her job.
“We’ve been spending a lot more time these past few months, going out on dates, movies, hikes, etc. Last week, when we were out on a romantic dinner, she admitted she was in love with me and gave me a 5-page handwritten love letter,” he explained.
“I was obviously super stoked, and I told her I was always in love with her, and she seemed really emotional about it. We then made out for a bit, and it was great and really emotional.”
“However, after that, she broke down in tears and admitted that she had HSV2 and that he wanted to be honest and let me know before we proceeded with further intimacy.”
He was speechless and couldn’t hide that, so his best friend quickly picked up on it. She moved closer to him and attempted to hold his hand, but he panicked and recoiled.
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He did say sorry for how he reacted and mentioned needing some space, and his best friend was pretty much crying. She texted him a ton this week, but he says his feelings for her died out as soon as she told him about her incurable disease.
The virus she has will stay in her body for the rest of her life, and it’s highly contagious. He’s super health-conscious, which is something his sister passed on to him.
He questioned his sister about whether she thought he was being too prejudiced and harsh, but she told him not to give his friend a chance because risking his health isn’t worth it.
He has booked a doctor’s appointment to see if he managed to catch what his best friend has after making out with her, since there is a possibility that it happened.
“She (sister) said my friend should have told me before she kissed me, and it was wrong of her to hide that information from me. Am I wrong for not wanting to pursue a relationship with my girl best friend?” he wondered.
“We are really compatible in every other way, know each other inside and out, work in the same field, [and] can talk and joke for hours on end. But I just don’t think I can mentally get over her having HSV2.”
“Also, my sister told me it feels weird that my friend would only pursue me after she got HSV2, kind of like I’m a backup option. She told me I need to have more self-respect.”
I’m team his sister, because I think she’s totally right: his best friend only wants him now that she most likely has no dating prospects because of her disease.
No matter how much you like someone, putting your health at risk for them is just not a good idea. There’s nothing worse than being someone’s backup option…except for being a plan B with herpes.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
