We all have dealbreakers, and part of dating is figuring out what we can live with and whether we think someone is suitable for us or not.
So how would you feel if you waited to bring up a dealbreaker until after a date was over, only to make this person mad at you for it?
Several weeks ago, this 23-year-old girl participated in a volunteer event, and she met a 28-year-old guy while there. Later on, he found her on social media and messaged her saying he thought she was cute, but he didn’t have the opportunity to ask her out.
He then asked if he could take her out on a date so they could get to know one another better. She agreed, and he gave her a place and time to meet up. They didn’t really speak much leading up to the date, since she has a hectic schedule.
“We meet up for dinner, have a good time, and when [the] time comes for the bill, he just asks for one and takes it without saying anything,” she explained.
“I had a good time on the date, and I know that he did as well because we have some mutual friends. Before the date in our short conversations, I mentioned things about religion, since it is something important to me, and even on our date, we talked about my/his religion.”
The following day, this guy messaged her, wondering how her day was going. She replied and noted that she had a lovely time with him on the date, but she didn’t think they held the same views about religion.
She clarified that she didn’t think they could see one another because of their beliefs, but he did not really appreciate her honesty. He basically said to her that she should have told him about her religious dealbreaker before he paid for her portion of dinner.
He then hoped she had a great life. This was the first date she’s ever been on, as she’s been all in on her career so far in her adult years.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“He’s the one who initially asked me out, set the location, and offered to pay for the bill. I feel like everyone has nonnegotiables that they are looking for in a partner that aren’t criteria for getting a first date,” she continued.
“If this had been from an app where preferences were clearly stated, that would be one thing, but I just needed to see what other people thought. I did send a message apologizing [and] offering to pay him back if that was the issue.”
She’s left wondering if she was wrong to wait to bring up her dealbreaker until after the date was over.
Well, he wasn’t a gentleman about it, and he should have accepted her dealbreaker instead of getting angry. I think he’s trying to be petty because she hurt his feelings.
A date is meant to get to know someone, and that’s what she did. It’s perfectly fine that she decided they’re not on the same page about something she holds important.
And if he was so bent out of shape about paying the bill, he should have been clearer about his own expectations before suggesting a time and place for the date.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
