When your cheerful energy keeps accidentally convincing women you’re not into them, how do you make your true intentions crystal clear?
This man is single and straight, and every Friday in his city, there’s a meetup group for expatriates. While attending these meetups, he met a girl who really flirted with him a lot.
She also was pretty touchy-feely with him and did refer to him as hot. So, you can see why he thought she was romantically interested in him. She then asked for his phone number, and yesterday, they went on a date to the beach.
“I thought it was a date, but in the middle of it, while lying on the beach, she asked, ‘Are you gay or bi?’ I was legitimately surprised, and it turns out she thought I was gay, and for her this wasn’t a date but just a hang-out with a fun gay dude,” he explained.
“When I asked why she was touchy and flirty at meetups, she said that’s how she acts around her gay friends. I asked her if she wants to have a real date, but she told me she’s attracted to my body but not my personality, so no.”
What made it even worse for him is that this girl went on to tell him several people in the Friday group believe that he’s interested in men, not women.
He decided to question one of his female friends about whether she thinks he has a gay kind of vibe, and she said that he unquestionably does.
He asked his friend what about him gives off that impression, and she responded it’s just his entire personality.
“I’m naturally vivacious, energetic, expressive, smiley, jokey, and have feminine vocal phrasings. I also have a babyface and look young. I go to the gym regularly and [have] been told I look ‘cute.’ Gay dudes seem to really like me. I also have a lot of female friends,” he added.
It doesn’t bother him that friends or strangers make assumptions about him, but he is interested in being in a relationship with a girl, so it’s problematic if women don’t think he’s approachable because they’re making incorrect guesses about his interests.
He is not about to change his personality in order to attract a girl, but he’s left wondering what else he can do to prevent another date like this from happening in the future.
To me, it sounds like he has amazing personality traits, like being smiley, laughing, and having a zest for life. He absolutely shouldn’t change anything about that.
It’s unfortunate that this girl led him on, and I think in the future, if he’s interested in a girl, he should make that more well-known.
Aside from that, maybe getting on a dating app would be more helpful, as he can clarify there that he’s into women and seeking a committed relationship, and that disclaimer could work in his favor.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
