The other night, TikToker Katie (@tiktokkatiez) went on what she assumed would be a fairly standard first date with a man she met on a dating app.
Based on his profile, she was prepared for him to ask a specific question that was a little bit more personal, so when he asked, she figured she was ready for it, at least she thought she was.
The guy revealed that he had actually looked her up online before the date. That alone wasn’t shocking. But then he followed it up by saying that he had come across her dad’s obituary, which is public information.
He then bluntly asked her what happened. Her dad had died a few months ago, and the grief was still raw. She couldn’t believe this man was bringing it up on a first date.
Being confronted with such a deeply personal loss by a near-stranger on a first date caught her completely off guard. Instead of getting to know each other’s values, interests, or even favorite foods, she was suddenly thrust into the position of explaining one of the most devastating moments of her life.
The issue was not that he had Googled her. In today’s digital age, that’s to be expected. Many people do a quick search before meeting someone new.
The real problem was the timing, the delivery, and the lack of consideration. She did not want to unpack the recent trauma that she hadn’t even volunteered to discuss. There definitely was not a second date after that.
The story sparked a debate in the comments section.
Some TikTok users felt that he had crossed a clear boundary, while others argued that he may have had good intentions but poor execution.
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“Am I the only one who doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal? He admitted to looking her up and discovered that her dad died recently. He was probably curious,” commented one user.
“I honestly don’t think it was completely weird, and I wouldn’t have nixed him for that. It’s available during a Google search, and maybe he didn’t word it the right way, but he may have just been trying to be sympathetic of your dad’s passing,” pointed out another.
“So sorry for your loss. That’s not a question to ask on the first date. That shouldn’t be in any conversation unless you bring it up,” chimed in a third.
“As someone who lost their dad two weeks ago, I don’t blame you one bit,” stated someone else.
The situation ultimately opened up a wider discussion about dating etiquette and boundaries. How much information should people really bring into a first date? Curiosity is natural, but some topics require trust and time before they can be introduced into casual conversations.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
