Parentification is defined as a role reversal where a child is forced to take on adult responsibilities that exceed their developmental capacity, and it’s heartbreaking to see examples of.
Would you ever task a 9-year-old child with being responsible for an infant, or do you consider that to be too risky?
This woman was 9-years-old back in 2009, and she accidentally dropped her baby brother right on his head, fracturing his skull. Her mom was the breadwinner and worked her tail off to support them, while her dad was a super lazy bum.
Her dad owned his own locksmith company, but he loved to turn down any and all jobs that came his way. One day, her mom said he had to get out of the house and work, so he listened. He took a job.
Her mom worked out of a room in their house where she did hair. Anyway, on that fateful day, her mom asked her to care for her baby brother so she could do a client’s hair.
“All I remember was sitting in the living room, feeding him his bottle, then getting up to go to the kitchen to put his bottle away. I was opening the fridge with one hand, and in that exact moment, the baby squirmed out of my arm and fell on the floor,” she explained.
“I remember picking him up instantly, and him crying a very painful cry. Today, my mom and I were talking and somehow got into this subject. I told her how she shouldn’t have left a 9-year-old unsupervised with an infant.”
“And she agreed, but also explained that she had no choice because she had been doing a Keratin treatment on her client, and she didn’t want the baby inhaling the chemicals from it.”
Her mom proceeded to point out how she was the one who had to pay for their rent, car, utilities, and her dad’s locksmith truck, so she had to work.
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She then brought up to her mom the punishment her dad gave her for dropping her brother: a whooping. She can still recall that, as it hurt her terribly.
Her mom simply told her that she deserved what she got, and that hit a nerve. She’s still embarrassed to this day for dropping her brother.
“Even though my little brother is perfectly fine now, it was still a very traumatic time for a 9-year-old. Knowing I had fractured my brother’s skull and that he could’ve died,” she continued.
“Getting questioned by CPS asking me if I had done it on purpose. For her to say, ‘Good, you deserved it. You were a stupid little girl who didn’t listen when I told you not to get up,’ brought up emotions in me that I thought I had put to rest.”
“I had to look away from her to hide my watery eyes. I love my mother with all my heart, but how can she say that? I was a baby taking care of another baby. I’m the oldest of my siblings, and it’s always been expected of me to be more mature, but God, that comment hurt.”
Her mom is totally heartless and failed her as well as her brother. She was just a child herself tasked with an enormous and inappropriate responsibility. A 9-year-old is a child, not a nanny!
She never should have been punished for an accident, so really, both of her parents are negligent here. I’m honestly surprised she still talks to her mom after that recent revelation.
What advice do you have for her? Can you truly have a healthy relationship with a parent who still blames you for a childhood accident?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
