Getting asked out and ending up feeling like the other person resents your existence is a strange thing to experience, and I can’t say I’ve ever had that happen to me.
She went out with a man three times, and by the end of their last date, he had insulted her coffee order, her social life, her dog, and her personality, before calling her boring to her face.
This woman recently went out on a third date with a 28-year-old man named Kevin, and he posed as a nice guy, but morphed into a complete troll.
For their last date, they attended the Studio Ghibli Film Fest, and they went to see the movie Ponyo together, which is an animated movie about a boy who develops a relationship with a goldfish.
“We get out of the movie, and the first thing he tells me is ‘that movie is on the bottom of my list, and I watch a lot of movies.’ Ok, people are allowed to have their opinions, but why share that when I said it’s my childhood favorite Ghibli film?” she wondered.
“We then leave the theater and walk outside. It was sprinkling, and he was whining the entire time about it raining and how much he hates the rain and had no jacket or umbrella and that 3 blocks was too far (we live in the PNW, it rains all the time).”
“We finally make it over to a coffee shop where I get a latte (I paid for it) and he starts telling me that I shouldn’t be having lattes, that it’s high in calories, and dairy really increases your calories. I told him that I usually don’t have dairy, and then he points with a smug look on his face.”
She changed the topic, and then he wanted to know if she watches TV/movies or reads books in her free time. She responded that she really doesn’t, as she has very little free time.
Kevin then looked at her and asked if she doomscrolled and sat around then. She informed him that she has a full-time job that she has to commute for, which is time-consuming alone, but outside of the office, she works out and spends time with her dog and her friend Claire.
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By the way, Claire is the girl who originally set them up. Anyway, Kevin was not happy with her response and started to interrogate her with a bunch of questions.
He demanded to know if Claire was her only friend, and didn’t understand why she didn’t hang out with her friends after work during the week.
She felt pretty defensive, and she said something about how Claire isn’t doing that great with her roommates, Darryl and Mike (friends of Kevin), and she’s going to move out.
“He immediately attacks me and tells me that ‘do you just not like them, Darryl says you’re mean.’ I am PUZZLED since Darryl and I have always had positive interactions, and he developed a bit of a crush on me (which I found out after I went on 2 dates with Kevin),” she said.
“I completely shut down by this point and just want to get out of there, but he asks if I like cats and if I would ever live with a cat. I say no since my dog HATES cats, and he tells me how much he dislikes dogs. I’m ready to leave…and we walk back to the cars.”
“I ask him what other hobbies he has other than gaming and watching movies, and ask if he does any outdoor activities like fishing, skiing, hiking, etc. He tells me no, which is fine, but he started getting really irritated that I brought it up and said, ‘I know how to do all that stuff. I was a Cub Scout. I just like being at home,’ and then he asks me if I do any other outdoor activities.”
She said she enjoys gardening, and Kevin snapped that he hates it and finds it punishing for him to participate in. They eventually got to where their cars were parked.
Kevin announced that she was super boring, so she got into her car and drove away without saying anything back to him. Kevin takes the award for the rudest man she’s ever met, and she just doesn’t understand why he acted like this.
She appreciates that they obviously weren’t compatible, but their lack of similarities didn’t give Kevin permission to speak to her in the way that he did.
Looking back, Kevin definitely had the red flags flying on their first and second dates, but she failed to trust her instincts. On their first date, Kevin showed up 45 minutes late and spent the whole time talking about himself.
She chalked it up to nerves and agreed to a second date when he asked her out. That time, they went out for brunch for her birthday.
She showed Kevin photos of things she’s cooked, and he criticized her for it. He called her dumb for cooking prime rib the way that she did.
From there, Kevin wanted to know if Italian food was her favorite, and when she said it wasn’t, he told her that his grandma and mom would not like her.
“He then kept going on and on about his ‘high income’ of 60k. Yes, that’s right, 60k. And we live in one of the highest-income cities in PNW, where 90k isn’t even a sustainable income,” she added.
“When the bill came, I had no issue splitting the bill, but then he got up and left and bought pastries for himself. We ended up going into a floral shop, and I was looking at flowers, and he straight up left and sat outside.”
“And if I’m being honest, date 3 was even worse than I said before. During the previews, we talk about how I’m house shopping, and he tells me, ‘I haven’t really thought about buying my own home or moving out of my mom’s place anytime soon. She has a huge house, and she charges me really little rent. Most of my rent goes to my groceries, so she can buy me food. I just help clean and give her back rubs every night as part of my rent.'”
She found that really weird, but the highlight of their third date, before it came to an end, was that Kevin said he does intermittent fasting and had no interest in going out to eat before the movie. After the movie, he said he hated sushi, so they had to get coffee.
So, so bizarre. She’s left wondering where Kevin felt the need to be so mean to her that night.
I bet Kevin thinks being antagonistic is a personality trait or something. I can’t understand why Kevin would pursue her and waste time on three dates, only to act as if he hates her.
Nice guys don’t finish last, but guys like Kevin sure do. I’m wishing her better luck in the dating pool, because this is really cringey!
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
