Grief makes people do strange, unpredictable things, but handing over an intimate piece of jewelry to a companion is a massive breach of trust. How do you come to terms with a parent who chooses to honor a new companion by discarding the legacy of the woman who raised you?
It was more than 50 years that this woman’s parents spent married to one another, and her mom sadly died two years ago. After the loss of her mom, her jewelry was divided up between her and her sister.
However, her mom had a very expensive necklace she wore nearly every day, and that was the one thing her mom hadn’t made clear about who should inherit it.
Her dad stated he wanted to hang onto her mom’s necklace, as it was sentimental to him, so she and her sister agreed to let him keep it.
She and her sister thought that when it came time for them to inherit items from their dad, one of them would have the necklace, and the other would get his watch, which is of equal value.
Several weeks ago, her dad said something to her about not having many assets to insure, except for that watch, so she brought up the necklace. Her dad didn’t acknowledge that.
Two days ago, her sister said their dad had emailed them not long after that chat about insuring the watch, but she missed it. Inside the email, her dad disclosed that he had given the necklace away to his female friend for supporting him through the loss.
“The woman he has given the necklace to is not a friend of my mum’s and not someone she would want to have it. To put this into context, the person he gave it to is someone he used to work with, and [who] he goes to watch football with.”
“My mum resented Dad spending time with this person when she was at home, ill, knowing that she was effectively dying, and referred to her as ‘that woman,’ however, I don’t think she told my dad how she was feeling, only [my sister and me].”
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As she said, she didn’t see the email, so when her sister brought it up, she was basically beside herself. Her sister was just as upset, yet responded to the email, mentioning it was fine, as she didn’t want to create drama.
She’s not willing to fake things along with her sister, and her mom would be furious to know this woman is wearing her beloved necklace.
Her dad has plenty of money, so he could have easily purchased an expensive present for this other woman to show his appreciation instead of giving away her mom’s necklace.
She has since sent her own response to her dad, outlining that she loves him and doesn’t want to hurt their relationship, but she is angry with him, and her mom would have been as well.
She said she is happy to buy this woman a different necklace if she gives her mom’s necklace back. Her sister saw her dad yesterday, and he opened her email back to him, but he needs a couple of days to think it over.
She’s left wondering if she’s a jerk for wanting her dad to get her mom’s necklace back, which will certainly be an awkward quest, or if her dad’s the jerk for gifting the necklace without asking for her or her sister’s permission.
Her dad’s in the wrong here, and that other woman is definitely his mistress. Her dad really has no morals to have given away something so special, which he didn’t have the right to do.
She should unquestionably force her dad to go get the necklace back, and she should make him buy the other woman a replacement instead of wasting her money on that.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
