If you cheated with someone who had a spouse, would you feel like you owed that person the truth of what happened, or would you keep quiet?
Six years ago, this 36-year-old woman experienced a breakup that caused her a lot of trauma. She still stayed friends with her ex’s 36-year-old friend Mark and his 36-year-old wife Sierra. Mark and Sierra sided with her over her ex.
“After the breakup, Mark started checking in on me, and an emotional affair developed between him and [me], which resulted in a kiss, me sending him spicy pictures (after he requested them), and he asked me to be his mistress,” she explained.
“I was in a terrible place emotionally, and I consider this the lowest point in my life. Mark had said Sierra was [not into romance], only able to be [physical] if drunk, and he was certain he could convince her to be in a poly relationship, which she refused.”
“He then said he planned to leave her so we could be together, until she ‘baby trapped’ him, getting pregnant to ensure he couldn’t leave. He painted her like the villain. Then the main issue: Mark told me that at a couples therapy appointment he’d come clean about the emotional affair with me.”
She waited around for Sierra to confront her or melt down. Sierra easily could have reached out to her on social media, as they were connected there, but Sierra never said a word.
She grew increasingly anxious about the silence on Sierra’s end. Throughout the last several years, she and Mark have remained in contact, but have behaved.
She went through loads of therapy, but the guilt still ate her alive. In 2024, she eventually messaged Sierra herself, stating she wished to apologize to her.
“She had NO CLUE what I was talking about. This, obviously, prompted a message to Mark, and he admitted he lied, and that he’d been caught cheating with some OTHER woman, and Sierra had told him if there was ever anyone else, they were done,” she added.
“I’m neurodiverse, and I always feel like I have to ‘fix’ things, so I asked what he HAD said, so I could smooth [things] as best as possible while clearing my conscience. What I didn’t realize is that he told me one thing while telling Sierra another.”
“He totally threw me under the bus. So when I tried to talk to Sierra, she told me to shove my apology (paraphrasing), and then blocked me. To this day, it still bothers me that she doesn’t know the TRUTH. And we have ONE mutual friend.”
She thinks Sierra has a right to totally hate her because she did a horrible thing, and that’s not up for debate. But she would want to know the whole truth if she was Sierra.
If Mark already cheated on her once, she is convinced he will do it again, so it’s good for Sierra to figure out it all out now.
She’s left wondering if she’s a jerk for not telling Sierra the whole truth, though, and for leaving it up to her to play detective.
Yes, she is a jerk for failing to disclose what went down to Sierra. She owes this poor girl! She needs to hurry up and send her a message filling her in on everything. Geez.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
