She’s Refusing To Go Home For Christmas So Her Husband Can’t Sell Her Grandma’s Cottage And She’s Asking The Internet If She’s In The Wrong
A woman is married to her husband, and she has been together with him for over a decade. Back when he proposed to her, her husband purchased her grandma’s old cottage for her as an engagement present.
Her grandma had passed away at that point, and the cottage meant the world to her. She was crushed when her family wound up losing her grandma’s cottage.
“Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time at the cottage and it’s become my safe haven for when things have been bad,” she explained.
“My husband doesn’t like the cottage and I don’t think he ever expected me to spend so much time there.”
She recently lost her only parent and she experienced two miscarriages, so she spent time alone at the cottage to get through those times in her life.
“I found out, by overhearing a phone call of his, that he was planning to secretly sell the cottage without telling me,” she said.
She did confront her husband over that information, and he told her that he was going to be selling it.
“When I asked him, he admitted it and wouldn’t reconsider no matter how much I begged him not to sell it,” she continued.
They did get into a fight over the cottage, and she went to go stay at the cottage after that.
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She’s refusing to come home for Christmas, since her husband cannot sell her grandma’s cottage if she’s living there, and this has made her husband livid.
The only way she will agree to come home and spend Christmas with her husband is if he decides to transfer ownership of the cottage to her name so that it can’t be sold without her permission.
Things have escalated, and her husband threatened to just level the cottage in the new year.
“If our entire relationship was just a scheme to get the cottage, I would’ve pushed him to transfer it to me when he told me he had bought it for me,” she added.
“I didn’t have any idea about his finances until after we were engaged and I never asked him to buy the cottage for me.”
“I don’t know if he would follow through on the threat or not. I hope he wouldn’t but he’s also never treated me like this before so I can’t say for sure.”
She’s left wondering if she’s somehow in the wrong here.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“It is nice to have a haven, but if you have come to rely on it over the years to the point where you have spent half of the last two years alone there, I can understand why your husband has grown to resent the cottage because he clearly has.”
“He likely feels shut out, or at the very least impotent in helping a partner who needs it.”
“That doesn’t excuse him threatening to knock it down when it clearly means a lot to you, but I can understand the feeling.”
“Just as clearly, it does not sound like you are intending any malice here, but it sounds like you have deep-seated unresolved issues, and your husband, if he is not at the root of them, has grown upset or angry that your chosen way to cope over years appears to explicitly be without him. Please, both of you get some help looking at those issues.”
“You cannot spend literally half of a two-year period hiding in a cottage he purchased neglecting your relationship and expect there not to be repercussions.”
“Dude cared about you enough to buy a cabin you loved before you were married and you use it to leave him single for half the year.”
“My wife would have returned to divorce papers after the first time she did that. This guy has allowed it for multiple years.”
“Your spending all of your time there (so you are not with your husband). You are neglecting your husband.”
“Also, you did not mention WHY your husband is selling. Is it possible that he needs the money? In financial distress? Or is it he wants to sell it so his wife will return to him?”
“Totally get the attachment to the cottage. My parents sold our cottage out from under me last year and I’m still devastated.”
“They told me it would be their retirement home and I would get it one day and now that is gone forever and I can get never get it back.”
“What I don’t get is why you both have chosen to be apart over a cottage. It doesn’t sound like your husband likes this arrangement.”
“If he bought it for you as a gift, then it’s yours and you should have the deed in your name. Get a lawyer and get the papers signed over to your name. When marriages falter people try to renege on gifts, for example, steal back engagement rings and sell them. Once it’s given, it’s yours. Make sure you have a paper trail.”
“It sounds like your cottage is more important to you than your husband, which is fine, but please do not string him along any longer.”
“Tell him where your loyalties lie so he can decide if he wants to be second place in his marriage as first place goes to the cottage.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.
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