Her Boyfriend Claimed That He Secretly Used A Dating App For A Confidence Boost, So She Stayed With Him But She’s Starting To Have Doubts
A young woman has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for 2 years now, but 5 months ago she learned that he was keeping a big secret from her.
She never had a reason not to trust her boyfriend prior to the secret that she found out, and she considered their relationship to be, well, wonderful…until she noticed a notification pop up on his phone that said something about new women to match with.
She quickly confronted her boyfriend, who maintained that it had to be an old alert since he didn’t think to delete the dating app he had been on years prior.
“I trusted him so deeply I believed him at first,” she explained. “It would have been so out of character for him, and realistically, I knew that if he wanted to cheat he had plenty of opportunities with girls at bars and parties.”
“If he was secretly a scumbag he didn’t even need a dating app! But some small part of me stopped myself and insisted on checking.”
She isn’t sure why she had second thoughts, and she fully thought that she wouldn’t find a single thing when she picked up his phone, but she was wrong.
On her boyfriend’s phone was a dating app that he had kept “hidden” and she could see that he was talking to other women on there.
She read every single message between her boyfriend and these dating app women, and everything her boyfriend had said was not flirty or anything. She thought it was all very basic.
Her boyfriend did finally admit that he was using the dating app, though he claimed it was all just to boost his confidence.
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She did feel sympathetic to her boyfriend’s reasoning, as she is aware that he wasn’t attractive growing up and got bullied for his lack of looks.
“After weeks of tears and tough conversations, I decided to stay with him,” she said. “It is truly the best relationship I’ve ever had and we both did a lot of self-reflection about our relationship in general.”
“My bf said he would change in any way I saw fit, and honestly, in the 5 months since, he has stuck to this commitment I have seen really big changes from him.”
In the last few months, her boyfriend has gotten help for his problems with his confidence, and they both openly share their phones with each other so they can’t hide anything.
Despite these positive changes, she’s having doubts about her boyfriend and their relationship.
“We are moving forward but when I think about it I still have reservations,” she continued. “I’m a feminist and my whole life have considered myself a “one strike your out” kind of girl when it comes to infidelity.”
“Part of me feels I’m being stupid or naive for trusting it was nothing more than what he said I’ve discussed it endlessly with friends but it’s hard to trust the opinions of people so involved, who know us both.”
She really wants you to help her decide if she’s being foolish or not here. What do you think?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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