The Guy That She’s Been Seeing Felt Hopeless About Their Relationship And Went On A Dating App But Now He Wants To Work On Things
A 22-year-old woman has been seeing a 23-year-old guy for about 5 months now, and they originally met through a dating app.
She quickly thought that this guy was the kindest guy that she had ever encountered. She also found him to be intelligent and genuine, and so, she was excited to see where things went with him.
Not long into seeing him, he brought up something he did in his past; he was in a committed relationship with a woman, yet he asked another girl out to see a movie with him.
He reassured her that this had all happened years ago and that he is still left feeling badly about what he did.
He admitted that he should have broken up with his girlfriend before asking another girl out on a date, and he promised to never cheat on her.
Although perhaps some women would consider that to be a red flag, she didn’t, and she kept seeing him.
Several months into knowing him, she realized they weren’t quite on the same page with their maturity or even their phases in life.
She did sit down and have a conversation with him about all of this, and he said they each had to grow in their own ways, though they could still stay together and encourage one another’s growth.
She really did think that they would be able to grow together, and looking back on the months she had spent with him, she thought they both were great at giving one another good advice.
GTeam – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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“One day, seemingly out of the blue, he goes back on this notion and says that we actually have to grow separately,” she explained.
“He alluded that certain things I did were weak (like forgiving people who hurt me, (specifically my parents) and apologizing for rolling my eyes that one day? I still don’t know how that’s weak).”
“He said he was destined for great things and that he wanted someone with that same passion… As if he automatically forgot about my passion for the causes important to me. I’m still growing into my confidence, but that doesn’t make me any lesser than him, I thought.”
During this chat, this guy said that he was excited to see the woman that she would grow into being, but he was hesitant to do anything to impact her in reaching her full potential.
A few hours later, he asked her to come to his place so they could speak in person. When she got there, she let him know that she wasn’t weak at all, even though she knew she still had some growth to do.
“Well, this is the part where I may seem a bit pathetic, but I informed him that I still loved and wanted him, and I knew that he still loved and cared about me too,” she said.
“I thought we could work on these problems together, and if he really didn’t want to, that’s fine. But I wanted to make sure he wasn’t breaking up with me because he thought he was obstructing my growth because that wasn’t the case.”
“This is where he told me about the hinge attempts. He informed me that a week prior to that day, he had been so mentally checked out and hopeless, that he installed Hinge and swiped through.”
So, this guy had spent several evenings on this dating app, though he did not end up matching with any women on there.
She still considers this to be cheating behavior, and she wished he had talked to her about his feelings instead of crossing this line that obviously would end anything they had between them.
A couple of days later, he insisted that he wanted to work on their relationship and still be with her.
“He realized the presence I had in his life, and he said that he doesn’t deserve me, but he wants to grow into the person that can treat me right,” she continued.
He suggested that they both go to counseling together so that he could regain her trust. She replied back that after her college finals were done, she would give him an answer.
“The only reason I’m considering this is because of how amazing we were,” she concluded. “In such a short time, I fell so hard for him, and him for me.”
“We understood each other, and I couldn’t wait to grow alongside him. I honestly am not describing our connection with the depth that it had.”
Do you think he’s manipulating her, or do you think they have a shot of working on their relationship and getting somewhere together?
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